4x03 Broncano i Motos, cançons promocionals i Luis amb carasseta amb Eugeni i el Xungarro del CIM
Pòdcasts pel Valencià
La comoditat valenciana
4x03 Broncano i Motos, cançons promocionals i Luis amb carasseta amb Eugeni i el Xungarro del CIM
Hola, això és la senyal per començar, hem vingut a la comunitat valenciana a brindar, fem un xinxin, el nostre amor i si brindes has de beure, si no quin te atrau, i per l'amor que es professen Màxim i Pere, que sabem que són parella de fet, de fet són parella, això hem vingut bàsicament i a parlar un poc de cine i de merda.
Hello, this is the signal to start, we have come to the Valencian Community to toast, let's make a toast, our love and if you toast you have to drink, otherwise what attracts you, and for the love that Màxim and Pere profess for each other, which we know they are a de facto couple, in fact they are a couple, that’s basically what we came for and to talk a little about cinema and crap.
De merda, sí, més de merda que de cine crec que parlarem, i això és el que fa de l'amor.
Shit, yes, more about shit than about cinema I think we will talk, and that is what love is made of.
Benvingudes a la comoditat valenciana, la tertúlia d'actualitat en clau d'humor, feta en València i des del País Valencià.
Welcome to Valencian comfort, the current affairs talk show with a humorous touch, made in Valencia and from the Valencian Country.
Benvingudes al tercer programa de la quarta temporada de la comoditat valenciana, el podcast de tertúlia d'actualitat política gratuït, independent, fet en València i des del País Valencià.
Welcome to the third episode of the fourth season of the Valencian Comfort, the free, independent political current affairs podcast, made in Valencia and from the Valencian Community.
Benvingudes a la quarta temporada de la comoditat valenciana, la tertúlia d'actualitat política gratuït, independent, fet en València i des del País Valencià.
Welcome to the fourth season of Valencian comfort, the free, independent political current affairs talk show made in Valencia and from the Valencian Country.
de pura agonia i vergonya aliena
of pure agony and secondhand embarrassment
només poden emetre's en cinema
they can only be released in cinema
per primera i última volta, així,
for the first and last time, like this,
a Sueca, Bressol de Joan Fuster
in Sueca, Cradle of Joan Fuster
i La ruta del bacalao, que si ho penses
And the route of the cod, which if you think about it
bé, Maxi, també és una cosa com la comoditat
Well, Maxi, it is also something like comfort.
valenciana. Per a presentar-los
Valencian. To present them.
ens acompanyen dos
two accompany us
dels seus perpetradors. Josep Lledó
of its perpetrators. Josep Lledó
és de Sueca, nascut als 80,
he is from Sueca, born in the 80s,
una vida entregada a la faràndula i al
a life devoted to show business and to
bodybuild, que va tindre el seu
bodybuild, which had its
cim laboral amb Maremeua,
labor summit with Maremeua,
famós programa d'humor xanante
famous comedy program
de tele sueca de començament de segle.
from Swedish television at the beginning of the century.
L'acompanya Eugeni, que no m'ha
He is accompanied by Eugeni, who hasn't told me.
volgut confessar cap dada concreta
wanted to confess no specific detail
més enllà que treballa a punt, cosa
beyond that works at the moment, thing
que justifica el secretisme. Al canal
that justifies the secrecy. To the channel
nou no poden saber que hi ha algú fent coses
"Now they cannot know that there is someone doing things."
que molen. Eugeni,
how cool. Eugeni,
Josep, benvinguts a la comoditat valenciana,
Josep, welcome to Valencian comfort,
projecte fet amb més ganes
project made with more enthusiasm
que pasta, com a vosaltres vos agrada,
what pasta, as you like it,
relaxeu-vos a la butaca,
relax in the armchair,
la projecció comença allà,
the projection begins there,
i jo només espero que ni un duro de
and I just hope that not a dime of
més impostos hagi anat a aquest despropòsit
more taxes have gone to this nonsense
vostre de agafar pastes de comarques
your way of taking pastries from the regions
que un dia van anar al festival de
that one day they went to the festival of
Xitxes d'Empalmada i es van flipar
They got excited about Empalmada and went wild.
potser massa. Benvinguts
maybe too much. Welcome
a la comoditat valenciana.
to Valencian comfort.
Anem a començar, si vols,
Let's get started, if you want.
amb lo dels impostos.
with the taxes.
Des dels impostos,
From taxes,
ni un duro. Des meus sí, no?
Not a dime. From mine, yes, right?
Des teus sí, potser.
From your yes, perhaps.
Jo us pagaria gust,
I would gladly pay you.
a mi em diuen un 20% de lo que has
They tell me I'm 20% of what you are.
pagat d'IBI
paid property tax
pel Sim.
for Sim.
A tope, en això.
To the max, in this.
I si voleu un 10 més,
And if you want one more 10,
també. Jo pagué la pel·lícula
Me too. I paid for the movie.
xina, ixa que porteu de no sé què.
China, that thing you carry that I don't know what it is.
No passa res. Ixa és gratis,
It's okay. That's free.
ja no cal que la pagues.
you don't have to pay for it anymore.
Bueno, ja sabeu
Well, you already know.
que ens podeu trobar al Twitter,
that you can find us on Twitter,
com a roba a la comoditat, a l'Instagram, com a roba
like clothing to comfort, to Instagram, like clothing
a la comoditat valenciana, al Mastodon,
to the Valencian comfort, on Mastodon,
com a roba a la comoditat, arroba a mastodon.cat.
like clothes to comfort, follow at mastodon.cat.
Tenim un canal de difusió de Telegram.
We have a Telegram broadcast channel.
L'altre dia algú em va tirar per cara de que no estava
The other day someone threw it in my face that I wasn't.
passant res. Ja estic passant tots els
nothing. I am already passing all the
programes per ahí, per si voleu estar.
programs out there, in case you want to be.
També us podeu trobar al Twitter,
You can also find us on Twitter,
a Podcast pel València, que és la plataforma,
a Podcast for Valencia, which is the platform,
que tenim Pere i jo per intentar treure uns durets
that Pere and I have to try to make some money
i poder pagar aquest programa,
and to be able to pay for this program,
que ens esteu preguntant quant valia.
you are asking us how much it was worth.
Bueno, ho paguen els oients, que jo crec
Well, the listeners pay for it, I believe.
que és una de les coses més boniques que poden dir Pere.
that is one of the most beautiful things that Peter can say.
Ho paga la gent.
It is paid by the people.
Amb el seu carinyo.
With your affection.
No el contrari al Sim, que ho paguem nosaltres.
Not the opposite to Sim, which we pay for.
I res d'anar agarrant
And nothing of going holding.
ibis de la gent de Suèca.
ibis of the people of Sueca.
I bueno,
Well,
recorde també que tenim
I also remember that we have
samarretes a 12 euros.
T-shirts at 12 euros.
M'he tornat bo i m'he vingut
I have become good and I have come.
l'altre dia el cap
the other day the boss
una oferta.
an offer.
La de guanya 15, però
The winner gets 15, but
és de tela, com es diu la tela esta?
It is made of fabric, what is this fabric called?
Biodegradable.
Biodegradable.
És de soja.
It is made of soy.
De soja?
From soy?
Te pots fer un almorzaré.
You can have a brunch.
Que no t'agrada?
What don't you like?
És compostable, reciclable,
It is compostable, recyclable,
biocompostable,
biocompostable,
ecofriendly, vegana
ecofriendly, vegan
i tot el que pugues tindre
and everything you might have
per estar més a gust.
to be more comfortable.
I la tinta?
And the ink?
La tinta de calamars,
The ink of squids,
especialment criats en la Patagonia.
especially raised in Patagonia.
És d'impressió, no, tèxtil?
Is it printed, not textile?
Jo és que estic a tope del tema.
I am really into the topic.
Sí, és bastant impressionant.
Yes, it is quite impressive.
Sí, és impressionant, màxim.
Yes, it's amazing, maximum.
La gent també és impressionant.
The people are impressive too.
Samarretes a casa del Yao, no mos han cafetetat.
T-shirts at Yao's house, they haven't caffeinated us.
Sempre una portada d'un disc de Mago de Hoz
Always a cover of a Mago de Oz album.
de la seva època xunga.
from her rough time.
De l'època de l'heroïna.
From the era of heroin.
És molt de color, eh?
It's very colorful, isn't it?
Això està guai.
This is cool.
Bueno, les nostres samarretes.
Well, our t-shirts.
L'oferta que estic fent ara és que si me demaneu dos
The offer I am making now is that if you ask me for two.
vos se l'envia gratis.
it is sent to you for free.
Si me demaneu una, vos la cobre, l'enviament per correu
If you ask me for one, I will charge you for the shipping by mail.
són dos euros noventa, crec.
It's two euros ninety, I think.
Si me demaneu dos, ahí va gratis.
If you ask me for two, here they go for free.
I si van al Mareny?
And what if they go to Mareny?
I si van al Mareny a Perella,
And if they go to Mareny to Perella,
me conviden una cervesa i se la donen.
They invite me for a beer and give it to him/her.
Ahí al Prado.
There at the Prado.
No més barata.
No cheaper.
Calidoscop. Edifici calidoscop.
Kaleidoscope. Kaleidoscope building.
No sé qui vindrà, sí, a que li donin la samarreta.
I don't know who will come, yes, let them give him the t-shirt.
Però bueno, i tenint talls des de la S
But well, and having cuts since the S.
fins a la 2XL, que la 3XL s'ha acabat.
up to 2XL, as 3XL is sold out.
I a molt de gordo, per ahí, no?
And a lot of fat, around there, right?
A molt de gordo, este audiencio, i a molt de gordo.
To a very fat person, this audience, and to a very fat person.
Jo agafo...
I take...
Gordofòbia, stop gordofòbia, body positivity, sempre.
Fatphobia, stop fatphobia, body positivity, always.
Ja està bé, clar.
That's fine, of course.
Sí, té raó, perdoneu, eh.
Yes, you are right, excuse me, eh.
Jo gasto una 3XL.
I wear a 3XL.
3XL, però tu no estàs molt gaud, eh.
3XL, but you're not very happy, are you?
Tu saps guanyar.
You know how to win.
No, a veure.
No, let’s see.
Esta és una 2XL.
This is a 2XL.
Home, és que el teu la comoditat és tan fort.
Home, it's just that your comfort is so strong.
Bueno,
Well,
i res, compreu-les,
And nothing, buy them.
per favor, se fliparem,
please, we'll freak out,
ne tenim un fum,
we have a ton of them,
i si no, pues,
and if not, well,
me tocarà fer draps de cuina cars.
I will have to make expensive kitchen cloths.
I espere que no.
I hope not.
Bueno, també recordar que estem en el TikTok.
Well, let's also remember that we are on TikTok.
Eh, i res...
Eh, and nothing...
Arroba, arroba la comoditat valenciana de TikTok,
At sign, at sign the Valencian comfort of TikTok,
i què feu en TikTok?
And what do you do on TikTok?
Res.
Nothing.
Va, menuda mierda.
Come on, what a load of crap.
Jo a voltes m'agravia plorar.
Sometimes I felt like crying.
Hauríem de fer TikTok, morat.
We should make a TikTok, purple.
Trossos de pel·lícules de merda, eh.
Chunks of crappy movies, huh.
I curió, mos maten, ja.
I swear, they're killing us, already.
Crec que és...
I think it is...
Arroba comoditat, pum, vale.
At sign comfort, boom, okay.
El tuit, el nick.
The tweet, the username.
Però no estic segur.
But I'm not sure.
Vale, vale, pum, vale.
Okay, okay, boom, okay.
Mos seguís, gent? No sé.
Do you follow me, people? I don't know.
No sé per què, però allí mos seguís, gent.
I don't know why, but there you follow us, people.
Bueno, per anar avançant,
Well, to move forward,
m'agradaria donar gràcies
I would like to thank.
a tots els vídeos i àudios que estem rebent
to all the videos and audios that we are receiving
per al programa de la setmana que ve especial,
for next week's special program,
programa 100, que estem rebent un munt.
program 100, that we are receiving a lot.
De res.
You're welcome.
Des d'així se'n va l'Eugen i el Roim,
From here go Eugen and Roim,
perdoneu, de Sueca, que mos tragueren
Excuse me, from Sueca, that they took us out.
allà a la saca, l'altre dia.
There in the bag, the other day.
Sí, vaig veure el tuit, vaig veure el tuit.
Yes, I saw the tweet, I saw the tweet.
Molt bé, molt bé.
Very good, very good.
Un exconvidat del programa treballa allà,
A former guest of the show works there.
a lo millor, no sé.
maybe, I don't know.
A la saca?
In the sack?
Sí.
Yes.
Me fa pensar que ell, a lo millor, digueva.
It makes me think that he might have said.
I res, també mos heu preguntat per xarxes
And nothing, you have also asked us on social networks.
el tema repel·lents.
the topic repellents.
El tema repel·lents, de moment, està parat.
The topic of repellents is currently on hold.
És un poc el que...
It's a little what...
No sé esta temporada com eixirà.
I don't know how this season will turn out.
De moment està parat per circumstàncies familiars,
At the moment, he is stopped due to family circumstances.
s'ha complicat molt la vida, però bueno,
life has become very complicated, but well,
la comoditat seguirà, la llibreria seguirà.
comfort will continue, the bookstore will continue.
El tema repel·lents què és, això?
What is the topic of repellents, then?
L'altre podcast.
The other podcast.
El poc al poc.
Little by little.
El poc i el ruïn.
The little and the bad.
El poc l'han deixat.
They have left him little.
Estava pensant que...
I was thinking that...
No siguis, no siguis, que s'atura.
Don't be, don't be, it stops.
Ai, té raó, s'atura molt la onda.
Oh, you're right, the wave slows down a lot.
Perdó.
Sorry.
Estava pensant que fèieu repel·lents de merchandising,
I was thinking that you made merchandise repellents,
és a dir, repel·lents de mosquits o d'estos...
that is to say, mosquito repellents or of those...
No, volia molt més, com ahir, rel·lecs, repel·lents.
No, I wanted much more, like yesterday, relics, repellents.
Prenem nota l'any que ve, un repel·lent.
We'll take note for next year, a repellent.
La camiseta del rel·lec patrocinant repel·lents.
The rel·lec shirt sponsoring repellents.
Qui té fam somien rotllos, no?
Those who are hungry dream of rolls, right?
Estan picants mosquits i...
There are biting mosquitoes and...
En sueca és que...
In Swedish it is that...
En sueca és una laguna...
In Swedish, it's a lagoon...
Bueno, és un pantà asquerós,
Well, it's a disgusting swamp,
que jo no sé per què l'han construït així.
I don't know why they built it this way.
Bueno, sí que sé per què l'han construït.
Well, yes, I do know why they built it.
Per què? No tenim coses que contar.
Why? We don't have things to tell.
Conta-nos per què en sueca...
Tell us why in Sueca...
Per què en sueca està en un pantà.
Why is she in a swamp?
Era per fer la conya.
It was meant to be a joke.
Potser els que la fundaren digueren...
Perhaps those who founded it said...
Aún podrien ficar-la que fóra més xungo,
They could still put it in, which would make it tougher.
perquè és que ningú en darrere se'n foda.
because no one behind gives a damn.
Aún hi haurà més mosquits.
There will still be more mosquitoes.
Entre el riu Txugel i l'Albufeu.
Between the Txugel river and Albufeu.
El riu Txugel i l'Albufeu què n'hi ha?
What about the Txugel River and the Albufeu?
No res. Allí anem a picar-ho.
Nothing. There we are going to snack on it.
Un monte.
A mountain.
Corbera, també.
Corbera, too.
Vull dir, allà al port n'hi ha un,
I mean, there is one over there at the port,
però en sueca és que està a la meitat de la merda.
but in Swedish it's that it's halfway in the shit.
Per el costat positiu no vos aqueixen pirates, jo què sé.
On the positive side, they don't harass you, pirates, I don't know.
Ja, home...
Yeah, sure...
Això mola plomes.
This is cool feathers.
No tens registres a on d'atractes de pirates,
You have no records of where pirates are attracted.
tampoc, eh, Màxim? Jo què sé...
neither, right, Màxim? What do I know...
Ho dic per cullera.
I say it for a spoon.
Cullera sí que...
Cullera yes...
Va, tindré prous palos.
Okay, I'll have enough sticks.
Bé, tenim una sèrie de temes.
Well, we have a series of topics.
Hem perdut 11 minuts, ara anem a treballar un parell de temetes ràpides, d'acord?
We have lost 11 minutes, now let's work on a couple of quick topics, okay?
D'acord. Primer temeta...
Alright. First topic...
Ja que venia Chen de la tele...
Since Chen was coming from the TV...
Espera, Edi, ve, Chen de la tele.
Wait, Edi, come, Chen from the TV.
Chen de la tele, o sea, que se vaya en tele sueca.
Chen from the TV, I mean, to go in Swedish TV.
No sé si ho heu dit.
I don't know if you said it.
Ah, sí, jo en el nou.
Ah, yes, I'm in the new one.
En el nou, però no.
In the new one, but not.
El tema Broncano Motos.
The Broncano Motos theme.
És.
It is.
Bé, que Broncano pareix que li està guanyant.
Well, it seems that Broncano is winning.
Que Broncano pareix que li està guanyant.
Broncano seems to be winning.
A mi me dóna perea Broncano Motos.
I find Broncano Motos boring.
Me dóna molta perea.
It gives me a lot of hassle.
I el motos, no? Espera, espera.
And the bikes, right? Wait, wait.
Me dóna molt el sang, no m'agrada.
It makes me very angry, I don't like it.
A tothom li agrada i a mi no m'agrada.
Everyone likes it and I don't like it.
I damunt, a tot el món propi, que damunt és rotllo...
And above all, in my own world, that above is a drag...
Té que molar perquè...
It has to be cool because...
Sobre això podríem parlar, eh?
We could talk about that, right?
Clar, suposo que no serà de tots,
Of course, I suppose it won't be for everyone.
però sí que és veritat que hi ha com una corrent de pensament
but it is true that there is a kind of current of thought
que li mola a Broncano.
what Broncano likes.
Jo ho he intentat i no hi ha manera que m'entregui.
I have tried and there's no way for me to give in.
Em sembla que és un tio que ho fa mal.
I think he's a guy who does it wrong.
Però no ho aposta.
But he doesn't bet on it.
És de ser una miqueta del PSOE
It's a bit of being from the PSOE.
per poder gaudir tots els matisos.
to be able to enjoy all the nuances.
És de ser una miqueta del PSOE per poder gaudir tots els matisos.
It takes being a little bit of the PSOE to fully enjoy all the nuances.
Són com els comediers que beuen un vi,
They are like the comedians who drink a wine,
és a frutat engola, no sé què, taninos,
it's a fruity swallow, I don't know what, tannins,
se nota la corfa, no sé què, i tu dius
you can feel the cork, I don’t know what, and you say
és el Sant Simón de tota la vida.
He is the Saint Simon of a lifetime.
Si és del PSOE, tu veus Broncano,
If it's from the PSOE, you see Broncano,
veus ahí el que fa sorollets en la guitarra,
do you see there the one making little noises on the guitar,
i això ho dius, notes els matisos.
And you say that, you notice the nuances.
Si estàs afiliat.
If you are a member.
Bé, jo afiliat no estic,
Well, I am not affiliated.
no he conegut partit, però ara...
I haven't known a party, but now...
No ho sé, no ho sé.
I don't know, I don't know.
Callao funda uno.
Callao founds one.
El mor revole lo funda uno.
The dead king sets one adrift.
El mor revole lo funda el PSOE,
The PSOE founded the mor revole.
así en sueca.
so in Swedish.
Pero cuando el PSOE volaba...
But when the PSOE was flying...
Sobre partits de sueca
About sueca games
también podrían hablar, por si insegur.
they could also talk, just in case insecure.
En la foto de tallo.
In the stem photo.
Primero acaba en sueca,
First finish in Swedish,
broncano, que no me llama
Broncano, who doesn't call me.
gens, però, clar, l'únic que li tinc
nothing, but, of course, the only thing I owe him
a Pablo Motos és com
Pablo Motos is like
incomparable, vull dir.
incomparable, I mean.
És com comparar
It's like comparing.
una merda seca a una merda molla.
a dry turd to a wet turd.
Que preferisses xafar la seca
That you would rather trample the dry one.
perquè on se pega...
because where it hits...
Ja que la xafes, ja que la xafes a per totes, tio.
Since you're messing it up, since you're messing it up for good, dude.
Xafa la molla.
Squash the crumb.
Si vas a xafar una merda...
If you're going to step in dog poop...
M'ha quedat en el cap la imatge de jo xafant a Pablo Motos.
I have in my head the image of me stepping on Pablo Motos.
Sí, com molt.
Yes, like a lot.
Molt, molt, clar, perquè és molt.
Very, very clear, because it is very.
Jo t'he de dir que no l'he vist.
I have to tell you that I haven't seen him/her.
No, no l'he vist.
No, I haven't seen him/her.
Ni Pere...
Neither Peter...
Ni Pere ni jo, crec, no?
Neither Pere nor I, I think, right?
Pere, de pau.
Peter, of peace.
M'he de veure la saca, que comença
I have to see my bag, it's starting.
a les 10
at 10 o'clock
i a punt.
I'm ready.
De 10 a 10.45.
From 10 to 10:45.
Vaig a veure a punt aquestes alçades del seire.
I'm going to see at this point of the evening.
Bé, el que he de dir, perquè no queden fils
Well, what I have to say, so there are no loose ends.
després, és que les trames
afterward, it's that the plots
que no s'acaben jo les odie, però això...
that they don't end, I hate them, but this...
Faig un festival de merda.
I'm throwing a shit festival.
No anem a poder avançar.
We're not going to be able to move forward.
És simplement un conte de no-ravidez
It's simply a tale of non-ravidity.
que jo li vaig treure...
that I took it away from him...
És que xille molt. És que si en sueca t'ho xille molt.
It's just that it screams a lot. It's just that if it screams a lot in Swedish.
Li vaig treure
I took it away from him/her.
la foto del meu reuelo
the photo of my watch
al senyor Dimas Vázquez quan va pactar
to Mr. Dimas Vázquez when he made the agreement
en una dreta per ser alcalde
in a straight line to be mayor
de Sueca fa dos o sis d'atudes.
From Sueca, two or six of the bandaging.
Entonces, quan va agafar la vara de mando
So, when did he take the rod of command?
jo vaig aiguar un poc la festa
I watered the party a little.
perquè li vaig dir
because I told him/her
Mira, este que tendría que morir ara
Look, this one that should die now.
el que va afrontar la sala que era el meu reuelo.
what faced the room that was my refuge.
Este, tipo señor mayor.
This, kind of elderly man.
Tipo huela.
Type leave.
Me encanta la xell que va a la xunta.
I love the girl who goes to the meeting.
Me n'he lligat-la.
I've tied it up.
Me sembra una cosa con molt de foc.
It seems to me like something with a lot of fire.
Jo no he treballat perquè jo estava gravant-ho.
I haven't worked because I was recording it.
I en un moment donat vaig deixar el meu jo de càmera
And at a certain moment, I let go of my camera self.
i vaig dir, ara vaig a expressar-me com a cintada.
I said, now I am going to express myself as a band.
I vaig a dir, no m'has de fer de càmera.
I am going to say, you don't have to be my camera.
Me vaig a arrepentir per una part
I am going to regret it in part.
perquè no és cosa de fer i se s'animarà
because it's not something to do and it will cheer up
però per altra part m'ho vaig a arrepentir
but on the other hand I'm going to regret it
perquè sóc imbècil.
because I am an idiot.
És que en Sueca teniu sempre un bon burdel.
It's just that in Sueca you always have a good brothel.
De fet, parlarem en el primer capítol
In fact, we will talk in the first chapter.
un poc del burdel que tenim muntat ahir.
A bit of the brothel we set up yesterday.
Sí, bueno, sí.
Yes, well, yes.
El deport nacional
The national sport
és no pactar amb l'esquerra.
it is not to make a pact with the left.
L'esquerra no pot pactar entre ells.
The left cannot reach an agreement among themselves.
Sempre hem de buscar fora
We always have to look outside.
el que no troben a casa.
what they can't find at home.
En un matrimoni ja de 30 anys.
In a marriage of 30 years already.
Jo sobre el tema
Me on the subject.
broncano i motos
Broncano and motorcycles
puc parlar.
I can speak.
Estàs amb els teus amics
You are with your friends.
xerrant tranquil·lament.
chatting quietly.
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Bueno, el tema
Well, the topic.
és que
it's that
el motos havia fet una miqueta
the motorcycle had done a little bit
a l'amo de les nits
to the lord of the nights
i tot el tema en el seu programa de merda
and all the stuff in his shitty program
i sembla que això era una cosa
And it seems that this was a thing.
que era imbatible i tal
that was unbeatable and such
i s'havia com una resignació que el tio havia de fer
and it was like a resignation that the uncle had to do
el seu programa de merda i a més
his shitty program and also
per l'otrofacha i molt descarat
for the other side and very brazen
i molt boig. També ha coincidit
and very crazy. It also coincided.
en que, hòstia, és que hem de pensar
What the hell, is that what we have to think about?
que el hormiguer al principi era el programa
that the ant farm was originally the program
familiar que feia Flippy
relative that Flippy was making
feien experiments, el home de negre
they were conducting experiments, the man in black
era un programa com una espècie
it was a program like a kind
de xou familiar que...
of a family show that...
Xivlit, que tu no sabràs qui és
Xivlit, that you won't know who it is.
però és un home de Sueca
but he is a man from Sueca
és que quan et diu una persona de Sueca en la tele
it's that when a person from Sueca speaks on television
és de Sueca o hem de dir-ho.
is from Sueca or should we say it.
Fiquem nerviosos si la gent no sap que hi ha un de Sueca en la tele.
We get nervous if people don't know there's someone from Sueca on TV.
El senyor pirotècnic de l'Hormiguero
The pyrotechnician from El Hormiguero
era Xivlit, que és de Sueca.
He was Xivlit, who is from Sueca.
Això era precis, tio.
That was precise, dude.
Perfecte. Salutació al senyor Xivlit
Perfect. Greetings to Mr. Xivlit.
si ens està escoltant.
if he/she is listening to us.
El cas és que...
The fact is that...
Que vingui el programa, Pere, el Xivlit, a veure.
Let the show come, Pere, the Xivlit, to see.
Home, el curro, tindria un grandíssim programa.
Man, the job, would have a tremendous program.
Hi ha hagut una deriva
There has been a drift.
en molts programes, me'n recordo
in many programs, I remember it
i sempre, jo què sé, el de...
and always, I don't know, the one about...
Ai, la tonta esta que va a platjar un llibre,
Oh, that silly one who went to the beach with a book,
com se diu? Rosa...
What is it called? Rose...
Ai, el programa este...
Oh, this program...
La Rosa Quintana.
The Rosa Quintana.
Ah, la Rosa Quintana.
Ah, Rosa Quintana.
A mi si a Rosa no sé que no sabía.
I don't know what Rosa didn't know.
Li van a escriure, no?
They are going to write to him/her, right?
Sí, sí, bueno, no, ho va a platjar.
Yes, yes, well, no, it’s going to rain.
Li ho van a escriure
They are going to write it to him/her.
i el que ho va a escriure
and the one who will write it
va a platjar-lo.
He is going to beach it.
És una cosa meravellosa.
It is a wonderful thing.
Potser en copiar, vas a escriure...
Maybe when copying, you're going to write...
Està super bé.
It's really good.
I se provava a començar
He was trying to start.
com un programa del cor, realment.
Like a program of the heart, really.
I hi ha hagut una deriva
And there has been a drift.
de molts programes populars
of many popular programs
a tema de faccerió puro i duro.
it's a purely and simply annoying matter.
Hi ha hagut un consens
There has been a consensus.
que se quede l'intermedio
let the intermission stay
i dos cosetes més
and two more little things
com a Red Flag,
as a Red Flag,
mai millor dit,
never better said,
portant la bandera de la llibertat i tal,
carrying the flag of freedom and such,
i tots els demés és feixisme.
and everything else is fascism.
I clar, el tio aquest broncano
And of course, this guy is a bully.
que feia un programa en Movistar,
that had a program on Movistar,
que més o menys estava bé,
that was more or less okay,
que no era fatxa,
that he/it was not fascist,
és que jo tampoc definiria
it's just that I wouldn't define it either
què és la cosa més roja que ha sortit per la tele.
What is the most red thing that has appeared on TV?
Un programa que no era fatxa.
A program that was not fascist.
Era una cosa agradable, simpàtica,
It was a pleasant, nice thing,
una miqueta tonta a voltes,
a little bit silly at times,
però que no ficara en un contador
but it won't fit in a meter reader
de presumptes violadors
of alleged rapists
que ha dit
what has been said
per culpa d'Irene Montero,
because of Irene Montero,
que feia el tonto del rojo vivo.
what the fool of the bright red was doing.
O sea, era una cosa
In other words, it was one thing.
que no se clava más en política
that one does not get more involved in politics
y lo poquete, pues,
and the little bit, well,
se le nota que es el típic progre urbanita,
You can tell that he is the typical urban progressive.
irónic y tal,
ironic and such,
que después igual te quince pisos llogats,
that later you might have fifteen rented apartments,
pero ahí de cara, pues,
but there face to face, well,
más o menos es simpaticón,
more or less he is quite nice,
es una progre, no, tal, no sé qué,
she's a progressive, no, such, I don't know what,
no se porta mal en quien que es gay
It is not bad to be gay.
o quien que, qué sé,
or who that, what I know,
fa una miqueta de coñetes,
it's a little bit of nonsense,
de estas cosas, yo qué sé,
About these things, what do I know,
que no es fatxa, básicamente no es fatxa.
he is not a fascist, basically he is not a fascist.
Y claro que un tío que no es fatxa
And of course, a guy who isn't a fascist.
tenga un programa
have a program
amb possibilitats de ser líder de audiencia,
with the potential to be a leader in audience,
era un problema, punt.
It was a problem, period.
El problema ve d'ahí.
The problem comes from there.
Si el tio hagués entrevistat
If the guy had interviewed
Santiago Abascal
Santiago Abascal
o Albert Rivera,
oh Albert Rivera,
en lloc de riures d'Albert Rivera
instead of laughing at Albert Rivera
quan estava en la ser i tal,
when I was in the be and such,
o hagués segut una cosa,
or it would have been one thing,
una miqueta,
a little bit,
hombre de orden,
man of order,
com haig de ser, espanyol,
how I should be, Spanish,
de derechas,
right-wing
no hi hagués hagut cap problema.
there would have been no problem.
Però com no és fatxa,
But as he is not a fascist,
ojo, no és que siga desguerres,
Beware, it's not that it is wars,
és que no és fatxa.
it's just that he's not a fascist.
Això és un problema molt gros.
This is a very big problem.
I jo què sé,
And what do I know,
estem en una situació, tio, que dius
we're in a situation, man, that you say
en més d'aquí està la televisió
over here is the television
que consumís la gent.
that people consume.
Nosaltres no perquè no veiem televisió,
We don't because we don't watch television,
però la gent que veu televisió, col·legues,
but the people who watch television, colleagues,
està tragant molta merda.
he's talking a lot of crap.
Sé que esteu treballant en no sé què de tele o sento.
I know that you are working on something related to TV or I'm sorry.
Valencians?
Valencians?
Perquè Pablo Motos és valencià
Because Pablo Motos is from Valencia.
i l'altre programa que entrava ahí també...
and the other program that went in there too...
Bueno, valenciano és de requena,
Well, Valencian is from Requena,
que això valenciano és massa, eh?
that this Valencian is too much, huh?
A veure, jo he de dir que
Let's see, I have to say that
l'única cosa que ens han donat els espanyols
the only thing the Spaniards have given us
els sents anys és requena,
the hundred years is requena,
racó de mus i serrans.
corner of mackerel and mountains.
O sigui, això se defensa.
That is to say, this is defended.
L'única cosa que ens han donat els espanyols,
The only thing the Spaniards have given us,
els valencians, i això se defensa.
the Valencians, and this is defended.
Abans, en duem marinador.
Before, we used to carry a marinader.
Marinador se va a poder il·luminar, si volen.
Marinador will be able to illuminate, if they want.
Que això.
That this.
Bueno, podríem entrar en el debat
Well, we could enter the debate.
i ho vaig a fer jo ara de presentador,
and I am going to be the presenter now,
de si la gent de dretes
whether right-wing people
fa millor humor que la gent d'esquerres o al revés.
is in a better mood than left-wing people or vice versa.
Perquè és que, en realitat, la gent de dretes
Because it is that, in reality, right-wing people
fa millor humor que la gent d'esquerres.
He has a better sense of humor than left-wing people.
No fa rissa.
It's not funny.
Encara que ho pugui fer.
Even though I can do it.
L'últim fatxa graciós que hem tingut
The last funny fascist we had.
així en Espanya ha sigut José María Pemán,
thus in Spain has been José María Pemán,
no?
no?
L'home és de que era dels anys 20 o 30.
The man is from the 1920s or 1930s.
I des d'entonces
And since then
la gent de dretes és que no fa rissa.
Right-wing people don't make jokes.
Vull dir, perquè al final, fer humor
I mean, because in the end, making humor
necessita un espírit crític, i l'esperit crític
needs a critical spirit, and the critical spirit
és com la bandera de l'esquerra.
It’s like the flag of the left.
Jo reconec que en tercer cubata
I confess that in the third drink
Leo Hallem em provoca
Leo Hallem provokes me.
un somriure.
a smile.
Però Leo Hallem és fatxa,
But Leo Hallem is a fascist,
obertament?
openly?
No, però és criptofatxa, no?
No, but it's crypto-fascist, right?
Un poquet.
A little bit.
Leo Hallem és, jo què sé,
Leo Hallem is, I don’t know,
d'aquests que quan estàs en el vestuari
of those that when you are in the changing room
del gimnàs i et veus espantadors...
from the gym and you look terrifying...
Ui, el culo de la paret!
Oh, the ass of the wall!
Escogeix el cuñado.
Choose the brother-in-law.
Leo Hallem és cuñado, és un bon cuñado.
Leo Hallem is a brother-in-law, he is a good brother-in-law.
Sí, sí, sí.
Yes, yes, yes.
Quan tu penses en un cuñado, penses en un fatxa,
When you think of a brother-in-law, you think of a fascist,
a lo primer.
at first.
No me imagine votar en la Podemos.
I can't imagine voting for Podemos.
És qüestió de Leo Hallem
It's a matter of Leo Hallem.
i del que vull saber.
and what I want to know.
Bueno,
Well,
ahí yo simplemente donaré una dada
there I will simply provide a piece of information
y es 14.000.000 d'euros
and it is 14,000,000 euros
per temporada val, que tampoco es ninguna barbaridad
per season it's worth, which isn't anything outrageous either.
el hormiguero, val prou més.
The anthill matters much more.
14.000.000 d'euros el hormiguero?
14,000,000 euros for the anthill?
No, el altre, no?
No, the other one, right?
No, el de broncano, per temporada.
No, the one from Broncano, per season.
Que és una quinta part
What is a fifth?
del pressupost d'Apunt, más o menos.
from the Apunt budget, more or less.
Són 75, el d'Apunt.
It's 75, the one from Apunt.
5 broncanos, podem fixar.
5 bronchi, we can fix.
En Apunt
In Note
se podria tirar tota.
It could be thrown away completely.
O sea, si broncano
So, if he gets angry.
un día entra en Apunt,
one day he/she walks into Apunt,
igual traurés un cafè de la màquina,
I would take a coffee from the machine.
tanqueu.
close.
O sea, no m'espera, sóc tanqueu.
I mean, don't wait for me, I'm closing.
Si vols, passem
If you want, let's go.
al següent tema, Pere, o què?
to the next topic, Peter, or what?
Vale.
Okay.
Ens hem de posar una cançoneta.
We have to put on a little song.
Ah, sí? Jo m'ho he dit ja?
Ah, really? Have I already told myself?
Sí, sí.
Yes, yes.
Si te vas a mover, que sea con clase.
If you're going to move, do it with class.
Si lo haces en Lambo,
If you do it in a Lambo,
quizá te retrases.
perhaps you will be delayed.
En transporte público llegas al rato.
By public transport, you arrive shortly.
Te libras de tantos días.
You escape from so many days.
Cosí sale barato.
Cousin sells cheap.
600 euros te ahorras al año.
You save 600 euros a year.
Y a nuestro planeta le quitas el daño.
And you take the damage away from our planet.
Viajar en bus no es bajarse al barro.
Traveling by bus is not getting down in the mud.
Tardas la mitad que en tu propio carro.
You take half the time as in your own car.
Si lo envías, puedes ir leyendo.
If you send it, you can start reading.
Y si no lo pillas, te vas aburriendo.
And if you don't get it, you'll end up getting bored.
Yo sé que eres inteligente.
I know that you are intelligent.
En transporte público se mueve mi gente.
My people move by public transport.
Yo sé que eres inteligente.
I know that you are smart.
En transporte público se mueve mi gente.
My people move around by public transport.
Yo sé que eres inteligente.
I know that you are smart.
En transporte público se mueve mi gente.
My people move by public transport.
Yo sé que eres inteligente.
I know that you are intelligent.
En transporte público se mueve mi gente.
My people travel by public transport.
Yo sé que eres inteligente.
I know that you are intelligent.
En transporte público se mueve mi gente.
My people move by public transport.
¿No?
Not?
No powerlifting.
No powerlifting.
Bueno, la campanya de decidir fer el Ministeri
Well, the campaign to decide to create the Ministry.
para promocionar el transport públic.
to promote public transport.
Com està la campanya?
How is the campaign?
Com és? Tu l'has vist?
How is it? Have you seen it?
Fer una cançó que obre pornografia
Make a song that opens pornography.
És un senyor en pinta
He is a well-dressed gentleman.
d'homosexual guarro
of dirty homosexual
i sexual guarro d'estos
and filthy sexual of these
i cantar
and sing
aquesta cançó
this song
que està totalment
that is totally
la hipòtesi de Mike Cineva
the hypothesis of Mike Cineva
és que està feta per ella
it's that it is made for her
La cançó està feta per ella?
Is the song made for her?
Tot el spot està fet per ella
The whole spot is made for her.
El bigot que tenia
The mustache I had.
Jo crec que ahir no han arribat
I believe they did not arrive yesterday.
han hagut de gravar en persones
they have had to record on people
La cançó
The song
La base
The base
La base d'ella
The basis of her.
La qüestió és que
The question is that
el ferrocarril se caguen en Espanya
the railway shits on Spain
Vosaltres que viveu en Sueca heu vist
You who live in Sueca have seen
la degradació que ha tingut el tren
the degradation that the train has experienced
en qüestió de 10 anys
in a matter of 10 years
Jo he hagut de comprar
I have had to buy.
un cotxe elèctric
an electric car
No us el compreu, si podeu
Don't buy it, if you can.
Si podeu evitar no us compreu un cotxe elèctric
If you can avoid it, do not buy an electric car.
Ara, entretingut estàs
Now, you are entertained.
Jo el dia buscant on carregar
I spent the day looking for a place to charge.
no tinc més feina
I have no more work.
que pegar-li a la senya a llocs
to hit the mark in places
És com Pokémon
It's like Pokémon.
Buscant un lloc per carregar
Looking for a place to charge.
de por
of fear
Ara, estic estalviant 400 euros
Now, I am saving 400 euros.
en gasolina
in gasoline
i sofriment
and suffering
i sofriment en el tren
and suffering on the train
i pedreores en el tren i tal
and pedestrians on the train and such
ara buscant per carregar
now searching to load
però és un rotllo
but it's a drag
jo podia anar a València i després a Butxasot
I could go to Valencia and then to Burjassot.
fàcilment des de Sueca
easily from Sueca
i ara és inviable
and now it is unfeasible
és que dia sí, dia no...
it's that day yes, day no...
Quan no hi ha una vaga de metro
When there is no metro strike
hi ha una vaga d'autobús
there is a bus strike
quan no hi ha una vaga de tren
when there is no train strike
quan no ha caigut un arbre
when a tree has not fallen
no funciona
it doesn't work
puges al tren i estàs a tope
you get on the train and you are on top
A mi m'encantava anar amb patinet
I loved going on a scooter.
jo pujava amb el patinet en el tren
I was getting on the train with the scooter.
i del tren agarrava el carril bici
And from the train, it took the bike lane.
i anava a estar a Butxasot
I was going to be in Butxasot.
en el patinet
on the scooter
i ho passava pipa allà
and I was having a great time there
adelantant a tota la gent
overtaking all the people
però ara no pots pujar el patinet en el tren
but now you cannot take the scooter on the train
i apareix bé
and appears well
però és una putada
but it's a pain in the ass
perquè està a tope de gent
because it is full of people
és molt de gran
he is very big
però això no és de fa deu anys
but this is not from ten years ago
això és de fa 40 o 50
this is from 40 or 50 years ago
des que ha faltat el caudillo
since the leader has passed away
eh?
Huh?
de la gaga?
from the gaga?
Antes eso no pasaba
That didn't happen before.
antes tu podies anar amb el teu patinet per allí tranquilament
Before you could go with your scooter over there calmly.
i passar
and to pass
posar tota València en los rest
put all Valencia in the rest
i no passava res
and nothing happened
i estaves la marxa d'obús per allí
and you were the shelling march over there
És el...
It is the...
lo que mos va dir l'Alba Sidera sobre
what Alba Sidera told us about
els italians feixistes que diuen
the fascist Italians who say
lo de bueno
the good thing
pero en Mussolini els trens arribaven ahora, no?
But in Mussolini, the trains arrived on time, right?
Aquí no se pot dir
Here it cannot be said.
Aquí cal felicitar el compromís antifeixista
Here we must commend the anti-fascist commitment.
de Óscar Puente
by Óscar Puente
que ningú no pot dir que els trens arriben ahora
that no one can say that the trains arrive now
gràcies a ell
thanks to him
és un compromís antifeixista clar
it is a clear anti-fascist commitment
Línia Roig és ahir
Line Red is yesterday.
No passaran els trens
The trains will not pass.
Si ella ets a llibertat
If she is free
els trens funcionaran arreu totalment
The trains will operate everywhere completely.
És que és cinisme, eh?
Isn't it cynicism, huh?
Vull dir, és molt cínic perquè
I mean, it's very cynical because
se'ls ha quedat ahí un remenent no sé de quants diners
There is a leftover amount of money there, I don't know how much.
i han dit anem a fer esta cançó
And they said let's go make this song.
que segur que la gent agarra més el tren
that surely people will take the train more
encara que quan vagis a agarrar-lo no vagi
even though when you go to grab it, it doesn't go
o estigui tan ple de gent
or is so full of people
Jo agafem moltes poques vegades el tren
We take the train very few times.
la veritat, perquè no vaig a València mai
The truth is, I never go to Valencia.
València és una caca
Valencia is a turd.
Pots anar a la silla
You can go to the chair.
Ah, bueno, m'interessa un munt
Ah, well, I'm really interested.
Està el Cristo allí
Is Christ there?
Són bons
They are good.
Però sempre està petat el tren
But the train is always crowded.
A mi tan recorregut està petaíssim
For me, such a journey is completely destroyed.
que no cap ningú, se queda gent fora
that nobody fits, people are left outside
no arriba mai a hora
he never arrives on time
Bueno, és tot un desastre
Well, it’s a total disaster.
Que volguéssim que tiressin la gent
That we wanted them to throw people out.
com en els trens de l'Índia
like on the trains of India
que quan hi hagués molta gent
that when there were many people
es tiressin per les finestres
you would throw yourself out of the windows
que estaria molt guai
that would be very cool
Marxa, marxa
Go away, go away
Tu ja, pel·lícula pel cim
You already, movie for the peak.
Tu ja no cal, fora
You no longer need to be here, go away.
Seria com una cosa molt exòtica
It would be like something very exotic.
Estaria guai
It would be cool.
Pere, si vols comencem a parlar del cim
Pere, if you want, let's start talking about the summit.
perquè portem mitja hora ja
because we've been here for half an hour already
És un meravellós festival
It’s a wonderful festival.
de cinema
of cinema
de merda de Suèca
of shit from Sueca
Val
Okay.
La primera pregunta
The first question
per introduir
to introduce
Què és el cim?
What is the summit?
El cim és el festival
The summit is the festival.
de cinema
of cinema
de merda de Suèca
of crap from Sueca
És un festival en el qual
It is a festival in which
posem pel·lícules males
let's put on bad movies
No que diguis
Not that you say
és mala perquè té un mal guió
It is bad because it has a bad script.
o és mala perquè
or it's bad because
No, no, és mal tot
No, no, it's all bad.
Tot en la pel·lícula està mal
Everything in the movie is wrong.
Normalment les idees d'aquestes pel·lícules
Usually the ideas of these movies
ja són males de per si
they are already bad in themselves
Aquestes pel·lícules van pensar
These movies were thought.
és que això no estan posant en cap lloc
It's just that this isn't being put anywhere.
Nosaltres
We
No ho estem fent a Ecuador
We are not doing it in Ecuador.
Hi ha gent que està fent una pel·lícula
There are people making a movie.
s'ha passat almenys tres caps de setmana
at least three weekends have passed
rodant un llarg metratge
filming a feature film
i no estem veient-los
and we are not seeing them
Això la gent de Suèca necessita
This is what the people of Sueca need.
No només la de Suèca, venen de tot el món
Not only from Sueca, they come from all over the world.
L'any passat vingué un francès
Last year, a Frenchman came.
i va dir
and he said
Les portes estan obertes
The doors are open.
Tu entra i saluda
You come in and greet.
Perquè vingué un francès
Because a Frenchman came.
L'última vegada que vingué
The last time he/she came
això va ser
this was
el 100.000 fiscs de Sant Lluís
the 100,000 fiscs of Sant Lluís
I d'ahir no vingué un francès
And yesterday a Frenchman did not come.
D'ahir no havia vingut ningú francès
No French person had come since yesterday.
L'exhibeu ahir
You exhibited it yesterday.
aquest és el francès que ha vingut
this is the Frenchman who has come
El francès que no s'ha entès
The French that has not been understood.
perquè no saben ningú idioma que no sigui francès
because they don't know any language other than French
doncs ells sí que ho han entès
so they have indeed understood it
El Festival de Cines de Merda
The Shit Film Festival
és un festival en el qual posem pel·lícules tràgiques
It is a festival in which we showcase tragic films.
pel·lícules de sèrie B, pel·lícules gore
B-movies, gore movies
pel·lícules cutres i garules
cheap and silly movies
pel·lícules que s'han rodat
movies that have been filmed
que ho intentaven fer bé i que no van poder
that they tried to do it well and that they couldn't
i ningú festival les vol
"And no one wants the festival."
i ens diuen, és que no hi ha ningú festival
And they tell us, it's just that there is no one festival.
i ens diuen, estreno mundial!
And they tell us, world premiere!
Estreno mundial en Suèca
World premiere in Sueca
Tenim un any nou estrenos mundials
We have a new year of world premieres.
el qual podries dir, hòstia que guai
which you could say, wow that's cool
Són tots estrenos mundials, guai o no
They are all world premieres, cool or not.
perquè en realitat és que no ho pot posar ningú en el seu cine
because in reality no one can put it in their cinema
i nosaltres els tenim allà
and we have them there
els tenim, però allà està
We have them, but there it is.
i són segurament estrenos
and they are probably premieres
i ja està, no sé com es diu
And that's it, I don't know what it's called.
final, treno, com es diu, no?
final, train, what is it called, right?
o vés-te'n a fer la mà
or go and do it yourself
treno, no sé, és que ja està
I don't know, it's just that it is.
t'has d'anar a navegar i ja
You just have to go sailing, that's it.
s'ha marxat la teva vida comercial
Your commercial life has left.
Pel·lícules que estan encaminades
Movies that are in progress
a que, no sé
to what, I don't know
van prou gent, eh?
They're doing quite well, aren't they?
Sí, unes 400 persones solen vindre cada sessió
Yes, about 400 people usually come to each session.
entre 200 i 300 persones
between 200 and 300 people
Per què 400 persones
Why 400 people
que van a partir-se el cul veient pel·lícules
they are going to split their ass watching movies
la veig passar sense pena ni glòria
I see her pass without pain or glory.
bueno, partint-se el cul
well, splitting your ass
Home, prou glòria sí que tenen, però pena més
At home, they certainly have enough glory, but more sorrow.
Glòria té, perquè la gent aplaudeix
Glory has, because people applaud.
i xilla i tal, però quan t'acabes
and you scream and all, but when you finish
i dius, sí, collo, que pena de pel·lícula, per favor
And you say, yes, man, what a shame of a movie, please.
Ni pena ni glòria no
Neither shame nor glory.
No fiquem pel·lícules
We don't put on movies.
que siguen ni xitxa ni gimona
that they are neither a nuisance nor a bother
Des que fiquem
Since we put in
lo millor o lo pitjor?
the best or the worst?
Lo millor lo tenim
The best we have.
Que això ho dia, no sé si
That this was said, I don't know if.
hi vaig a citar, perquè és que m'encanta citar
I'm going to quote, because I just love quoting.
una cita, me sent com molt més culturella
a quote, I feel much more cultured
El Guillermo del Toro, que dia que
The Guillermo del Toro, what day that
o parafrasitxanta
or paraphrasing
Hitchcock
Hitchcock
Una cita, una cita
An appointment, an appointment.
Cuidao, cuidao
Careful, careful
Una pel·lícula, per ser mala
A movie, to be bad
o la pitjor, ja tenia interès per ell
or the worst, I was already interested in him.
Si ell li diés
If he told her
esta pel·lícula es malíssima, no la veig
This movie is terrible, I’m not watching it.
a ell ja li interessava
he was already interested in it
Lo que no li interessava de la pel·lícula és
What he/she was not interested in about the movie is
que diés ell, pues ve
What did he say, well come?
ni xitxa ni gimona
neither a fool nor a wise person
El Guillermo del Toro, que ho va dir Hitchcock
The Guillermo del Toro, who said it Hitchcock.
Segurament Hitchcock li ho va sentir dir a Griffith
Hitchcock surely heard it from Griffith.
o a Tolstoi
or Tolstoy
Si estem molt preparats
Yes, we are very prepared.
filosòficament pel defensar lo que
philosophically for defending what
defensem, eh?
let's defend, huh?
Què defensem?
What do we defend?
El Sim és molt divertit, això sí
Sim is very funny, that's for sure.
El Sim, tu et penses, hòstia, vaig a veure una pel·lícula de merda
Sim, you think, damn, I'm going to see a crappy movie.
Són pel·lícules que tu a casa no te les
They are movies that you don't have at home.
fosaries mai, de fet no les recomanem
never hives, in fact we do not recommend them
Jo les veig en casa, és llargs
I see them at home, it's long.
i tal, i no s'aguanten
And so, they can't stand it.
No?
No?
Però quan
But when
les veig en el Sim, quan les veig rodejades de 400 persones
I see them in the Sim, when I see them surrounded by 400 people.
i els meus col·legues
and my colleagues
comentant-la, xillant i tal, dius
commenting on it, shouting and all, you say
hòstia, és que no m'ho passava tan bé
Holy shit, I wasn't having such a good time.
des del Sim de l'any passat, saps?
Since last year's Sim, you know?
És que...
It's just that...
Clar, perquè tots els Sims són guants
Of course, because all Sims are gloves.
No n'hi ha 5 mans
There are not 5 hands.
Bueno, igual en guany
Well, maybe this year.
És que el Sim
It's that Sim.
mos pregunten, a quines es jovats?
They ask us, which ones are you interested in?
Quina pel·li és la bona, eh?
Which film is the good one, huh?
La gent és molt innocent
People are very innocent.
Encara, en què se pensen, és rotllo
Still, what are they thinking? It's boring.
No, vaig a patir menys, no sé què dius
No, I'm going to suffer less, I don't know what you're saying.
Ai, pobret, encara no estàs prou curtit
Oh, poor thing, you're still not tough enough.
La gent de veritat que és fan del Sim
The people who are truly fans of Sim.
no pregunta, és fan, perquè en la seva
he doesn't ask, he is a fan, because in his
naturaleza Superman és fer el bé
Superman nature is doing good.
li dóna igual fer el bé contra tu que contra
he doesn't care about doing good against you or against
una altra, i té que fer el bé i ja està
another one, and it has to do good and that's it
El fan del Sim patir
The fan of the Sim suffers.
A fer el bé, estar allà i aguantar
To do good, to be there and endure.
el que li tiren
what they throw at him/her
I per això, i no sé què està dient
And that's why, and I don't know what he/she is saying.
No sé tampoc, no m'he perdut
I don't know either, I haven't gotten lost.
El Sim és una experiència
The Sim is an experience.
El Sim...
The Sim...
Alguna pel·liquieta que es pugui avaluar
Any movie that can be assessed
Bé, quines dades són?
Well, what data is it?
Si alguna persona està
If any person is
vol acabar amb la seva vida
wants to end his life
El millor del Sim és anar el dia que pots anar
The best thing about Sim is going on the day you can go.
Vull dir, aquest dia me bebé, vas
I mean, this day my baby, you go.
Tinc dia puc anar, dissabte
I can go, Saturday.
Dissabte no em bebé, divendres està igual de bé
Saturday doesn't bother me, Friday is just as good.
Vull dir, vine quan te dóna la gana
I mean, come when you feel hungry.
Està a les portes obertes, no se paga
It is at the open doors, it is not paid.
És gratuït, tu entres, salut és bona
It's free, you enter, health is good.
Bon dia, com vas? Com este? Molt bé
Good morning, how are you? How is this? Very well.
Compre una xapa, compres la camiseta
Buy a badge, buy the t-shirt.
Compre lo que te dóna la gana, es un poco de gasto
Buy what you want, it's a little expense.
Perquè és gratis
Because it’s free.
Almenys, jo que sé, algo
At least, I know something.
I disfrutes, la gent el que recomanem
I enjoy, the people we recommend.
Els neonatos
The neonates
Com es diu? Neòfils?
What is it called? Neophytes?
Neòfils?
Neophytes?
Neonatos nubs
Neonatal clouds
Sim nubs
Yes, clouds.
Els que comencen en el Sim, és que comencen en curts
Those who start in the Sim, are those who start in shorts.
Perquè tu en un curt, tens una hora i mitja de curts
Because in a short film, you have an hour and a half of shorts.
Però clar, igual de veus tres i dius
But of course, you see three and you say
Estic saciat, ja de prou de merda
I'm fed up, sick of enough crap.
Te'n vas, fumes un cigarro, te fas una cervesa
You leave, smoke a cigarette, have a beer.
Te fas dos ratllets de coca, lo que vulguis
You make two lines of cake, whatever you want.
I tornes un rato més
I'll be back in a little while.
Tens energia
You have energy.
No s'espera que se passa una marató
It is not expected that one runs a marathon.
La gent no
People don't.
No espera que tu que passes una marató
Don't expect that you who are running a marathon.
Com el de la marató en grec
Like the marathon one in Greek.
Que va a córrer 40 km i va a morir
He's going to run 40 km and he's going to die.
Això no pot ser
This cannot be.
Tu a poc a poc vas entrenant-te
You are gradually training yourself.
En distàncies curtes
In short distances
I vas concordint-te
And you were agreeing.
El primer any segurament
The first year surely
El que passa en el Sim és que tu no saps a lo que vas
What happens in the Sim is that you don’t know what you’re getting into.
T'ascentes allà i dius, això què serà?
You go up there and say, what will this be?
Al segon curt veus que la gent comença a xillar
In the second short, you see that the people start to shout.
A insultar, no sé què
To insult, I don't know what.
Per cert, potser nosaltres agafem el micròfon
By the way, maybe we will take the microphone.
I comencem a comentar-lo de la mateixa organització
And we start to comment on it from the same organization.
I comentem el curt perquè és una merda
We comment on the short because it is crap.
Això és el millor, quan comenteu és curt
This is the best, when you comment it is short.
Si no estan comentats, el quart d'hora
If they are not commented, the quarter of an hour.
No l'aguanta ni el que ha fet el curt
Neither the one who made the short can stand it.
I
I
Quan ja portes mig hora
When you've already been at it for half an hour.
Eres tu el que més està xillant
You are the one who is shouting the most.
Els que més xillem
The ones who scream the most
Se porten poc temps
They have only been together for a short time.
Perquè ells necessiten xillar
Because they need to shout.
Tenien alguna cosa a dir
Did they have something to say?
Tenien alguna cosa a dir que havien de manifestar
They had something to say that they needed to express.
Després d'haver vist Alien Romulus
After having seen Alien Romulus
O no sé què
Oh, I don't know what.
O les pel·lícules d'eixes de merda
Or those shitty movies.
Que t'agafen a pagar vuit euros en el puto cinema
They charge you eight euros at the damn cinema.
I no pots xillar
And you can't yell.
I dius jo necessito treure això en algun lloc
And you say I need to take this somewhere.
I vas allà al cinema i això
And you went there to the cinema and that.
No n'hi ha sessió bona o mala
There is no such thing as a good or bad session.
La sessió al final bona o mala la fan els espectadors
The audience ultimately makes the session good or bad.
La pel·lícula no és igual, qualificar-la és més plus
The movie is not the same; rating it is more of a plus.
Si tu fiques una porno i es codifica és no és igual
If you put on a porn and it gets encoded, it's not the same.
Hi ha una altra de les meves metàfores
There is another one of my metaphors.
Que estic jo avui sembrant
What am I sowing today?
Això ho diu Pedro Delgado
This is said by Pedro Delgado.
Les etapes no són dures
The steps are not hard.
Les etapes ciclistes no són dures
The cycling stages are not hard.
Per el relieve, són dures
For the relief, they are hard.
Quan les fan dures els ciclistes
When the cyclists have a tough time.
El cim es fa dur o no
The summit is hard or not.
Quan la gent vol que sigui dur o no
When people want it to be hard or not
Perquè si la gent es comença a créixer
Because if people start to grow in confidence
I a flipar-la
And to flip it.
Et pots tregar qualsevol
You can mess with anyone.
Fins i tot una d'Igmar Beckman
Even one by Ingmar Bergman.
I això que si m'hi fiquen a mi i a Pani Alexander
And this is if they put me and Pani Alexander in it.
Cinq hores
Five hours
Una ex meua, sis hores
A former partner of mine, six hours.
Tota la pel·lícula
The whole movie
Pararem a quina hora
What time will we stop?
A les sis de les prà
At six o'clock in the morning.
A les tres del matí
At three in the morning
Pararem fa collant
We'll stop making tights.
No, mira-la
No, look at her.
I jo tota l'estona mirant les vidres de pasta
And I the whole time looking at the pasta windows.
Aixina de perfil
That way of profile
Jo soc cultureta
I am a little cultured.
Jo mirava aixina de perfil
I was looking like this from the side.
Aixina de perfil
In that way, profile.
Dimecres 25
Wednesday 25
comencem un dia més
let's start another day
comencem un dimecres
Let's start on a Wednesday.
i ahir si fem un dia més
And yesterday if we have one more day
no, i jo vaig ficar
no, and I put in
jo pregunto i em diuen que no
I ask and they tell me no.
però m'agrada
but I like it
aneu a agarrar la setmana ja al final
you're going to grab the week already at the end
hem fet cims llargs, hem fet cims de 10 dies
we have made long summits, we have made summits of 10 days
el cim era molt més llarg
the summit was much longer
però el cim d'ara
but the peak now
és molt més elaborat
it is much more elaborate
el cim d'ara està tot subtitulat en suec
The summit of now is all subtitled in Swedish.
tot és comentat
everything is commented
antes sí que teníem pel·lícules que era
before we did have movies that were
molt difícil de tregar
very difficult to clean
que acabàvem mosatros i dues persones a primera fila
that we ended up with two people in the front row
veient la pel·lícula
watching the movie
però
but
les d'ara estan molt, és un poc més complicat
The ones now are very, it's a little more complicated.
són 4-5 dies, que està bé, que estan molt guai
They are 4-5 days, which is good, which is very cool.
una persona normal pot vindre un dia
a normal person can come one day
dos, un fan del cim, en cinc se li queda curt
two, a fan of the summit, in five it falls short for him
però bueno, no ho tenia
but well, I didn't have it
però tot, el que no estic a parlar en castellà
but everything, what I am not going to speak in Spanish
està subtitulat en suec
it is subtitled in Swedish
o sigui, té algun curt
so it has some short film
però pràcticament tot està subtitulat en suec
but almost everything is subtitled in Swedish
però tot està subtitulat en suec
but everything is subtitled in Swedish
el suec, espera, és que s'estiguin escoltant
the Swede, wait, it's that they might be listening
el suec és una variabilitat
Swedish is a variability.
és el més de països catalans
it is the most of Catalan countries
el suec és com el xalante
Swedish is like the Xalant.
del valencià català
from Valencian Catalan
sí, és un poc el xalante
Yes, it is a bit the chalant.
és un idioma que utilitzem nosaltres en suec
It is a language that we use in Swedish.
la romanística internacional
international Roman law
està debatint
is debating
si és una variable del català diferent
if it is a different variable of Catalan
que ja no és català
that is no longer Catalan
que ja és
that already is
ja és llengua
it's already language
per si mateixa
by itself
el qual m'agradaria que en la cuna de Fuster
which I would like to be in Fuster's cradle
no?
no?
ja he gravat la llengua
I have already recorded the language.
jode que panca, jode que panca
it makes you angry, it makes you angry
però no me serveixen els subtítols
but the subtitles don't work for me
per a comunicar-se en el valencià
to communicate in Valencian
però els subtítols
but the subtitles
i en estos subtítols el que fem és
and in these subtitles what we do is
pegar-nos la gana inventada
to get the invented desire
i en algunes pel·lícules
and in some movies
per exemple, jo què sé
for example, I don't know
tenim una pel·lícula que es diu
we have a movie called
AgriNight
AgriNight
que va sobre uns
that is about some
karate, no sé
karate, I don't know
són uns tipus que reben superpoders
they are guys who receive superpowers
i comencen a pegar hòsties
and they start hitting each other
i si tens els subtítols en anglès
And if you have the subtitles in English.
són una pel·lícula de Marvel
they are a Marvel movie
d'entrada és Marvel això
At the outset, this is Marvel.
perdó?
Excuse me?
és Marvel això, una pel·lícula de Marvel
This is Marvel, a Marvel movie.
és una pel·lícula de Marvel, sí, és Marvel-Mal
It's a Marvel movie, yes, it's Marvel-Bad.
Mal-Mal-Bell
Bad-Bad-Beautiful
Mal-Bell
Mal-Bell
en aquesta pel·lícula podràs veure
in this movie you will be able to see
els subtítols en anglès
the subtitles in English
que reconten la trama que volia el senyor director
that recounts the plot that the director wanted
i els subtítols en sueca
and the subtitles in Swedish
que s'ha inventat el
that has been invented by him
el fill del de Copymat
the son of the one from Copymat
que és el que fa la copisteria de Sueca
What does the copy shop in Sueca do?
i jo m'invento la pel·lícula
and I make up the movie
doncs inventa-te-la, xico
so make it up, dude
i tota l'alegria
and all the joy
i tot
and everything
molt més divertit
much more fun
voler la pel·lícula inventar
want the movie invent
perquè
because
és que aquestes pel·lícules d'una hora i mitja
it's that these one-and-a-half-hour movies
normalment els llargs del CIM
normally the lengths of the CIM
del Festival de Cine de Merda
of the Shit Film Festival
són curs d'un quart d'hora allargats
they are quarter-hour extended classes
què vull dir?
What do I mean?
en deu minuts està fons
In ten minutes it's deep.
aquesta pel·lícula
this movie
però l'allarguen perquè volen
but they prolong it because they want to
perquè tenen temps
because they have time
perquè diners no tenen
because they do not have money
tenen temps i poden rodar
They have time and can roll.
tenen caps de setmana lliures
they have free weekends
la majoria de gent no té nòvia
most people do not have a girlfriend
que això també fa molt
that this also makes a lot
saps?
Do you know?
fa molt, sí
a long time ago, yes
i clar, que és molt de temps lliure
And of course, that's a lot of free time.
i no saps en què
and you don't know what
o som
or we are
o som mestres d'escola
Oh, we are school teachers.
o sigui, que això
that is to say, that this
és molt dur
it's very hard
estàs plantejant-te la teua vida
are you questioning your life
i mentre estàs plantejant la teua vida
And while you are contemplating your life
dius
you say
què faig?
What should I do?
vaig a fer cine
I'm going to make a movie.
sí, clar
Yes, of course.
doncs, com totes les males idees
well, like all bad ideas
que ens ocorreixen en la vida
that happen to us in life
és quan
it's when
quan estàs desfaventat
when you are disadvantaged
què fas?
What are you doing?
maldat
malice
si tens parella
if you have a partner
el que has de fer és follar
what you have to do is have sex
i passar-te'n la teua parella
and to pass your partner to you
però si no en tens
but if you don't have any
doncs et fiques a fer pel·lícules
so you get into making movies
de malet
of suitcase
o podcast
or podcast
val
val
mireu
look
tinc que ser un escú...
I have to be a scout...
tenim un grup en els
we have a group in the
que paguen l'aixeta
that they pay the faucet
tenim un grup de telegrama
we have a telegram group
i sempre es pregunta
and always wonders
que si volem fer-los
that if we want to make them
alguna pregunta
any question
a les novedats
to the news
i la veritat és que
and the truth is that
les preguntes
the questions
que ens han plantejat
that they have proposed to us
són molt millors
they are much better
que les preguntes
that the questions
que faríem nosaltres
what would we do
m'entraven
they entered me
ens paguen
they pay us
i ens fan la feina
and they do the work for us
des d'aquí un saludo
Greetings from here.
moltes gràcies
thank you very much
segueu així
follow like this
això és el que volia
this is what I wanted
arribar jo a fer
to arrive me to do
en ganar el nou
in winning the new
això és el que volen
this is what they want
els vostres fans
your fans
que els vostres fans
that your fans
ja estan
they are already there
quantes preguntes teniu?
How many questions do you have?
dues o tres
two or three
bueno
good
un fan sueca
a Swedish fan
no ho dic
I won't say it.
no
no
, no es pot
it cannot be
és sueca
she is Swedish
no diré res més
I won't say anything more.
si hi vol
if he/she wants to
que fiqui un comentari
to leave a comment
heu vist alguna pel·lícula
Have you seen any movie?
en tant que t'ho dic
as I tell you
ahir en classe
yesterday in class
em va dir
he told me
una pregunta
a question
jo soc de sueca
I am from Sueca.
de qui ets fi?
Whose are you, fi?
ja estem allà
we're already there
sabies qui era?
Did you know who he was?
no
no
ara sí
now yes
perquè ja
because already
ja és alumne
he is already a student
vale
okay
heu vist alguna pel·lícula
have you seen any movie?
tan roent
so scorching
que heu dit
what have you said
esta no se pot projectar
this cannot be projected
no se pot projectar
it cannot be projected
si
yes
jo en un any
me in a year
en un any
in a year
tenia una
I had one.
te vais a ficar un tros
You're going to get a piece.
que no te vais a ficar un tros
you're not going to get a piece
no recordo ni el nom
I don't even remember the name.
però
but
tenia una que
I had one that
els primers cinc minuts
the first five minutes
dic
I say
és que això és molt comentable
It's just that this is very discussable.
és molt divertida
it's very funny
però
but
durava una hora i mitja
it lasted an hour and a half
tot el rato
all the time
el mateix
the same
i era com
and it was like
si és que s'ha de durar
if it has to last
deu minuts
ten minutes
cinc
five
ens ho havien passat
they had passed it to us
en gran
in large
però és que durava una hora i mitja
but it lasted an hour and a half
entonces
then
el problema és que són
the problem is that they are
molt llargues
very long
aquestes pel·lícules
these movies
que no es poden posar
that cannot be put on
és que
it's that
són una hora
it's one o'clock
una hora i mitja
an hour and a half
que no passen coses
that things don't happen
però no és que siga mal
but it's not that it is bad
és que és
it is that it is
és que és avorrit
it's that it's boring
el problema és que és avorrit
the problem is that it is boring
és avorrit
it's boring
perquè
because
perquè mal
because bad
jo què sé
I don't know.
mal és una cosa
bad is one thing
que dius
What do you say?
que la veus
that you see her
i t'oblides immediatament
and you forget immediately
d'haver-la vist
having seen her
és això
it's this
que
that
que pa
what bread
que ja no
that no longer
com les de Liam Neeson
like those of Liam Neeson
les de Liam Neeson
those of Liam Neeson
vista una
view one
vistes totes
all views
o sigui
that is to say
un pare que va
a father who goes
a vengar la filla
to avenge the daughter
que l'han subvestrat
that they have subverted it
o és que
or is it that
o és del
or is from the
de Zack Snyder
by Zack Snyder
o és
or is
aquest
this
que li ha donat tanta malícia
what has given her so much malice
Christopher Nolan
Christopher Nolan
per exemple
for example
i si a mi
and if to me
doncs a mi m'ha donat una malícia
well, it has given me a malice
que no puc suportar-lo
I can't stand it.
i si a mi no puc suportar-lo
and if I can't stand him/her
jo el veuria pel carrer
I would see him in the street.
i li pegaria dos bofetats
and I would give him two slaps
mira
look
jo no sóc
I am not.
no le pegaria
I wouldn't hit him/her.
ara t'ho dic jo
now I tell you
que tu el veuries pel carrer
that you would see him on the street
i li diries
and you would tell him/her
adiós
goodbye
bona estona
good time
si passaries pel costat
if you passed by the side
i no li pegaries
and you wouldn't hit him/her
i explica així
and explain it like this
però
but
jo no sóc violent ni res
I am not violent orAnything.
però jo diria
but I would say
no és precís
it is not precise
una altra pel·lícula
another movie
no és precís
it is not precise
que descansis
rest well
bueno
good
10 preguntes
10 questions
té una segona part
it has a second part
la pregunta
the question
l'heu contestat un poquet
you have answered him/her a little
que sigui avorrida
that it be boring
però ell pregunta
but he asks
¿deuria passar alguna cosa
Should something happen?
en aquesta pel·lícula
in this movie
alguna cosa
something
que digués
that he/she said
això no es projecta?
Doesn't this get projected?
sí
yes
les pel·lícules
the movies
per exemple
for example
Gore
Gore
que només són Gore
that are only Gore
perquè sí
just because
no són projectables
they are not projectable
són pel·lícules
they are movies
violentes
violent
per la violència
for the violence
que hi ha violacions
that there are violations
que hi ha
What's going on?
incursos
incursions
en llargs
in long
que siguen així
Let it be like this.
com
as
només això
just this
que no té
that does not have
alguna cosa més
anything else
que no té humor
that has no sense of humor
que no té
that does not have
que dius
what do you say
és que ho ha passat
it's just that it has happened
mal
bad
mirant-la
looking at her
i n'hem tingut
and we have had it
algunes
some
jo recorde
I remember
la selecció
the selection
un curt
a short
que era d'una violació
that it was about a rape
que dins
that inside
que sí
that yes
m'era
it was mine
perquè hi ha una violació
because there is a violation
i tal
and such
però és que només era la violació
but it was only the violation
i ja està
and that's it
i era com
and it was like
era molt desagradable
it was very unpleasant
hi havia algú
there was someone
que li ficava
that he/she/it was putting in him/her/it
en coses pel cul
in petty matters
o no sé què
or I don't know what
en un bate
in a bat
o no sé què
or I don't know what
també
also
l'enganxaven
they were catching him
en unes cordes
on some strings
però
but
hasta això
until this
té
tea
debat
debate
interne
internal
perquè
because
no tots pensen
not everyone thinks
el mateix
the same
i jo
and me
pensant
thinking
en aquestes pel·lícules
in these movies
a mi
to me
jo
I
és com a servir
it's like serving
en film
a film
que són
what are
com ultra violentes
as ultra-violent
i que
and that
se regoden
they revel
en la violència
in violence
jo
I
alguna vegada
sometime
m'ho han passat
they have passed it to me
i
I
n'he tenint de violentes
I've had violent ones.
però ha de tenir
but it must have
alguna cosa més
anything else
que violència
what violence
perquè si és només
because if it is only
violència
violence
una violació
a violation
per violació
for violation
és com
it's like
i què
and what
ja han vist
they have already seen
la violació
the violation
i ara què
And now what?
fan un curt
they make a short film
de 10 minuts
of 10 minutes
o de 5
or 5
mentre no es diga
until it is said
que es parlo
what is being spoken
per exemple
for example
que he ficat
what I have put in
una violació
a violation
però en realitat
but in reality
és molt mal
it is very bad
el cineasta
the filmmaker
després ell
after him
doncs
so
no li tinguis mania
don't hold it against him/her
doncs no passa res
so nothing happens
i
i
val
vale
també
also
ens han preguntat
they have asked us
que en la vostra opinió
that in your opinion
de pel·lícules
of movies
comercials
commercials
quina és la pitjor saga
What is the worst saga?
i per què
and why
és torrente
it's a torrent
hòstia
hostel
torrente és
Torrente is
prou merda
enough crap
encara que jo
even though I
la primera
the first
m'ha agradat molt
I liked it a lot.
la primera és molt bona
the first one is very good
la primera és bona
the first one is good
la primera és molt bona
the first one is very good
i la segona
and the second
té frases bones
has good phrases
la primera
the first
quan se pensaven
when they thought
que era broma
it was a joke
entonces
then
mos feu gràcia
you make us smile
però el problema
but the problem
és que després
it's just that later
va veure que no
he saw that not
però es pot dir
but it can be said
és que així
it's just that this way
ha de tirar el braç
he has to throw the arm
però és que
but it is that
i Xiaomi
and Xiaomi
mos va enganyar
he deceived us
un poc a tot
a little bit of everything
bueno
good
mos va enganyar a tots
he deceived us all
com els progres
like the progressives
d'estos des 90
of these from the 90s
o mos pensaven
or they thought we were
que
that
això és el que
this is what
pede en lo des del PSOE
I ask for it from the PSOE.
saps que perquè
do you know why
hi ha molta gent
there are many people
que és com
what it is like
aixina un poc del PSOE
a little bit of the PSOE
i de sobte
and suddenly
fica la pateta
put the little paw
a l'altre costat
on the other side
i dius
and you say
hòstia però si estic
Holy shit, but I am
amb faixa
with a belt
en pintes
in spots
en realitat
in reality
i mos enganyen
and they deceive us
un poquet
a little bit
i dius
and you say
hòstia
damn
este que cabró
this bastard
que ironia
what irony
no sé què
I don't know what.
està fent ahí
What are you doing there?
com un homenatge
as a tribute
a cineí
to the cinema
desagradable
unpleasant
i està burlant-se
and is mocking
i no
and no
és que
it's that
ho sentia aixina
I felt it like this.
però o després
but or later
poqueta a poqueta
little by little
no sentia aixina
I didn't feel that way.
a més que va fent
moreover, he/she is doing
es va anar fent
it was coming along
major
greater
i ni no
and neither not
jo pensé que
I think that
hi ha que reivindicar
there is a need to claim
el dia de Jon Fuster
the day of Jon Fuster
el dret a canviar d'opinió
the right to change one's mind
entonces
then
clar
clear
el problema
the problem
t'heu citat molt
you have quoted yourselves a lot
t'heu citat molt també
you have also quoted each other a lot
el problema de canviar d'opinió
the problem of changing one's mind
és que
it's that
molta gent progre
a lot of progressive people
com el Sabine
like the Sabine
com els xitanos d'estos
like these gypsies
com els figures d'estos
like the figures of these
el
the
i van canviant d'opinió
and they keep changing their opinion
vale
okay
tens tot el dret a canviar d'opinió
you have every right to change your mind
però van canviant-la
but they are changing it
a la dreta
to the right
van canviant-la mal
they keep changing it poorly
sí
yes
els dineritos
the little money
és que clar
it's just that clear
quan ets jove
when you are young
i no tens
and you don't have
una nòmina
a payroll
te burles de tot
you mock everything
si mosatros tinguérem
if we had
jo què sé
I don't know.
100.000 euros
100,000 euros
per fer un festival
to hold a festival
o com Sitges
or like Sitges
o 50.000 euros
or 50,000 euros
doncs potser diríem
so maybe we would say
no, no
no, no
aquest festival és seriós
this festival is serious
és de merda
it's shit
però és tot bo
but it is all good
i tal
and such
no sé què
I don't know what.
jo quan era jove
I when I was young
era el més radical
he was the most radical
i el més roig del món
and the reddest in the world
però ara
but now
jo ja tinc 44 anys
I am already 44 years old.
començo a mirar la dreta
I start to look to the right.
i dic
I say.
hòstia
wow
si tingués 400 xifres
if I had 400 digits
de diners en el banc
of money in the bank
ja votaria Vox
I would already vote for Vox.
m'ho estic plantejant ja
I'm already considering it.
vull dir que jo ja tinc
I mean that I already have
una cosa que conservar
one thing to keep
o sigui
that is to say
jo ja començo a dir
I already start to say
jo vull que em donin
I want them to give me.
l'homeu
the man
i els altres que s'apanyin
and the others can sort themselves out
home
man
que es follen
that they have sex
és que clar
it's just that clear
quan ets començant
when you are starting
a tindre per tenir
to have for having
doncs et vas fent
so you are getting used to it
de la gauché
of the left
de la derechera
from the right-hand side
és normal
it's normal
és veritat
it's true
bé
well
pitjors anys
worst years
que hem vist
that we have seen
Torrent
Torrent
Torrent és molt mala
Torrent is very bad.
però la primera
but the first
és molt bona
it's very good
a mi m'ha pillat
It has caught me.
la contrapeu un poc
it counteracts it a little
estic allà pensant
I am there thinking.
El Hobbit què?
The Hobbit what?
El Hobbit m'encanta
I love The Hobbit.
perquè és molt més
because it is much more
malament
badly
és molt més malament
it's much worse
que El Senyor de los Anillos
that The Lord of the Rings
però
but
és molt més divertida
she is much more fun
vull dir
I mean
jo crec que
I believe that
Peter Jackson
Peter Jackson
s'ho va passar bé
he/she had a good time
fent-la
doing it
i jo me'n passi bé
And I had a good time.
perquè ve que ha pillat
because he/she sees that he/she has caught
i diuen
and they say
s'ha cagat en tot
he has messed everything up
ja he fet una puta merda
I've already done a fucking mess.
de pel·lícula
movie-like
i llavors me'n passi pipa
and then I had a blast
mirant-la
looking at her
perquè ara té una pedra
because now he/she has a stone
amb un orco
with an ogre
de tot
of everything
és una pel·lícula
it's a movie
que si ho hagués pogut fer
that if I could have done it
va ser el Keaton
it was Keaton
perfectament
perfectly
El Senyor de los Anillos
The Lord of the Rings
llavors jo me'n passi pipa
then I had a blast
perquè és humor
because it is humor
és gràcia
it's grace
llavors El Hobbit
then The Hobbit
jo la compren
I understand her.
jo estic molt dins d'El Hobbit
I am very into The Hobbit.
el llibre d'El Hobbit
the book of The Hobbit
em pareix una puta merda
I think it's a fucking mess.
el llibre
the book
em pareix
it seems to me
el Senyor va dir
the Lord said
vaig a escriure
I am going to write.
el Senyor d'El Hobbit
The Lord of The Hobbit.
i després ja veuré què fas
and then I'll see what you do
i després ja vaig a fer
and then I'm going to do
alguna cosa detallada
something detailed
però al principi
but at the beginning
El Hobbit és com
The Hobbit is like
doncs bé
well then
va tirar endavant
he moved forward
però
but
el telèfon d'El Hobbit
the phone of The Hobbit
jo les compren
I buy them.
les compren molt
They understand them very well.
sí, sí, sí
yes, yes, yes
després ja venia
then I would come
una altra categoria
another category
de cineastes
of filmmakers
que ens enganyaren
that they deceived us
i pareixen que
and they seem to me that
no pareixen que
they don't seem to
les cares eren detalls
the faces were details
sinó que pareixen
but rather seem
que eren bons
that they were good
i eren mals
and they were bad
i vas a pel teu amic
And you're going for your friend.
vas a pel teu amic
You're going for your friend.
no, no, tot
no, no, everything
i allà pots entrar
and there you can enter
Christopher Nolan
Christopher Nolan
m'ha de ser bo
I must be good.
però per exemple
but for example
Kevin Smith
Kevin Smith
mos enganya molt fort
it deceives us very strongly
Kevin Smith
Kevin Smith
mos enganya molt fort
it deceives us very strongly
per exemple
for example
quin altre
which other
Shyamalan
Shyamalan
mos enganya també
it also deceives us
molt fort
very loud
però no convenceran
but they won't convince
seguint de la gamba
following the shrimp
totes les pel·lícules
all the movies
és com una religió
it's like a religion
pel·lícula que fa Shyamalan
movie that Shyamalan makes
o la filla
or the daughter
que ara s'ha ficat la filla
that now the daughter has got herself involved
a fer pel·lícules també
to make movies too
mos anem a vore-les
let's go see them
a vore-les
to see them
i a gaudir
and to enjoy
8 euros
8 euros
que fa les pel·lícules
who makes the movies
Copula
Copula
3 bones
3 good ones
va fer
did
i després va dir
and then he/she said
ja m'ha cansat
I've had enough.
de fer pel·lís bones
to make good movies
vaig a ver
I'm going to see.
lo que me parega
whatever I feel like
Ridley Scott
Ridley Scott
va enganyar molt fort
he/she deceived very strongly
Ridley Scott
Ridley Scott
va fer 2 bones
he made 2 good ones
Ridley Scott
Ridley Scott
va enganyar molt bé
he tricked very well
va fer 2 bones
he made 2 good ones
i allà hi va anar tot
and everything went there
i va dir
and he said
prou
enough
el que ve després ja
what comes next already
és la pel·lícula
it's the movie
George Lucas
George Lucas
també enganyava molt fort
also lied very strongly
George Lucas
George Lucas
va enganyar molt fort
he deceived very strongly
i va enganyar molt fort
and deceived him very badly
Robert Rodríguez
Robert Rodríguez
també
also
però
but
Robert Rodríguez
Robert Rodríguez
fa sim
makes sim
i Robert Rodríguez
and Robert Rodríguez
les seves pel·lícules
their movies
podrien estar perfectament
they could be perfectly
en el nostre festival
in our festival
perquè ell agrada
because he is likable
fer pel·lícules males
making bad movies
i ell disfruta
and he enjoys
fer d'aquestes pel·lícules
make these movies
la sèrie del Mandalorian
The Mandalorian series
està
is
com és dia
how is the day
Boba Fett
Boba Fett
la sèrie de Boba Fett
The Boba Fett series
és malíssima
she is terrible
la fa Robert Rodríguez
It is made by Robert Rodríguez.
i la veus
And you see her.
i dius
and you say
que són tot xorraes
that it's all nonsense
que podrien estar perfectament
that could be perfectly
en el festival de cinema
at the film festival
o sigui que realment
so in fact
tot és cinema de merda
it's all crappy cinema
no, tot no
no, not everything
tot no
not everything
tot rent
everything washes
tot rent és bona
Every wash is good.
tot rent
everything is clean
està a distàncies
it is at distances
tot rent
everything clean
més aigües xungues
more bad waters
jo què sé
I don't know.
el padrino
the godfather
sobrevalorar
overvalue
no, a mi em sembla que està bé
No, I think it’s fine.
a mi em sembla que està bé
I think it's fine.
està en el top 1
it is in the top 1
del Film Affinity
from Film Affinity
és bona
it's good
quan heu dit
when you said
les 3 bones de Coppola
the 3 good ones of Coppola
era perquè contàveu
it was because you were counting
el padrino 3
The Godfather 3
no, no
no, no
és que això no ho he dit
It's just that I haven't said that.
això és bona
this is good
això no ho he dit
I haven't said that.
això és molt bona
this is very good
bueno
good
també mos pregunten
they also ask us
si podríeu dir-nos
if you could tell us
un top 5
a top 5
de pel·lícules
of movies
de merda
shit
però que se puguen trobar
but that they can meet
fàcilment
easily
i aixina com
and just as
doncs això
well, that
és que nosaltres no veiem
it's that we don't see
molt de pel·lícules
a lot of movies
de cine de merda
of crappy cinema
que es pugui trobar
that can be found
fàcilment
easily
tu penses que
you think that
nosaltres
we
rebusquem
we are searching
la merda molt fort
the shit very strong
nosaltres veiem
we see
3.000 pel·lícules
3,000 movies
a l'any
in the year
i ja ho tenim bé
And we have it all set.
vull dir
I mean
3.000 pel·lícules de merda
3,000 shitty movies
cutres
shabby
molt amateurs
very amateurish
ja no
not anymore
ja no continuem
we no longer continue
buscant i tal
looking and such
a veure
let's see
pel·lícules de
movies of
a veure jo recomanaria
let's see, I would recommend
mira
look
aixina
thus
pel·lícules
movies
d'estrangeria
of immigration
per exemple
for example
d'asilum
of asylum
de xarnado
of chattering
i coses d'aquestes
and things like that
i això són una merda
and this is crap
al final
in the end
perquè això
because of this
o des de
or from
sci-fica
sci-fi
xanel
channel
i això és que no té entrellat
and this is that it has no connection
perquè està fet
because it is made
ahir
yesterday
per guanyar pasta
to make money
en quatre xorraes
in four words
i en quatre tonteries
and in four nonsense things
i allargant-ho
and extending it
parlant-ho en despatxos
talking about it in offices
en actors secundaris
in supporting actors
cutres
cheap or shabby
però no tenen
but they do not have
massa gràcia
too much grace
en realitat
in reality
de xarnado
of chatting
dius
you say
ve la idea
come the idea
i ja està
and that's it
però per exemple
but for example
el pedoci pastor
the shepherd pedoci
a mi em va molar
I really liked it.
el pedoci pastor
the shepherd's fart
estava guai
it was cool
tu ets el sueca
you are the Swedish woman
com es diu
what is it called
aquesta
this
que són
what are they
és una paròdia
it's a parody
d'un slasher
of a slasher
un slasher és
a slasher is
quan hi ha un grup
when there is a group
de jovenets
as young people
normalment
normally
que es claven
that are nailed
en un bosc
in a forest
és un slasher
it's a slasher
per exemple
for example
però hi ha una
but there is one
que és
what is it
uns xoves
some young people
que se'n van
they are leaving
tu l'has vist
Have you seen him/her?
però no recordo
but I don't remember
com es diu
what is it called
van a un bosc
they go to a forest
i hi ha dos
and there are two
aldeanos
peasants
d'aquests
of these
barbuts
bearded
en camisa quadro
in checkered shirt
que treballen allà
that work there
que viuen allà
that live there
i ells se pensen
and they think they are
que estan matant-los
that they are killing them
però no estan matant-los
but they are not killing them
estan intentant
they are trying
aixucar-los
squash them
però ells van morir
but they died
sense voler
unintentionally
i sempre pensen
and they always think
que estan matant-los
that they are killing them
com es diu
what is it called
això
this
no ho sé
I don't know.
com es diu
what is it called
és que a mi m'ho s'oblida
It's just that I forget it.
jo receteixo molt ràpid
I prescribe very quickly.
jo tinc una memòria
I have a memory.
de peix
of fish
molt ràpid
very fast
i després
and then
em poso en una pel·lícula
I'm putting myself in a movie.
i dic
I say
que pel·lícula més bona
what a good movie
i em diuen
and they call me
ja l'hem vist
we have already seen it
i dic
I say.
hòstia
hostel
perquè fa la primera
because it makes the first
que ve la vex
what the heck
tal qual
just as it is
però rebeu
but receive
3.000 pel·lícules
3,000 movies
3.000
3,000
entre llargs i curts
between long and short
3.000
3,000
el que passa
what happens
és que de 3.000
it's that of 3,000
potser 700
maybe 700
són de gènere
they are of gender
hi ha moltes
there are many
que són documentals
what are documentaries
sobre l'Amazones
about the Amazon
un curt
a short
d'un avuelo iraní
of an Iranian flight
que està buscant
what are you looking for
talaneta
talaneta
hi ha moltes pel·lícules
there are many movies
el nostre festival
our festival
entenem que sigui
we understand that it is
gratuït
free
és gratuït
it's free
la inscripció
the enrollment
i també
and also
anar a veure-lo
to go see him
perquè és de merda
because it's shit
bàsicament
basically
per tant
therefore
hi ha molta gent
there are many people
que s'apunta
who's in
a enviar el correu
to send the email
a enviar
to send
on hi ha plataformes
where there are platforms
avui en dia
nowadays
que t'aprieten un botó
that they press a button on you
i com és de Baes
And how is Baes?
s'apunten
they sign up
a qualsevol festival
to any festival
sense mirar-los
without looking at them
va
go
sense mirar-los
without looking at them
que se peten
they break each other
hi ha moltes trames
there are many plots
costumistes
costumers
molt de denúncia social
a lot of social criticism
moltes coses
many things
que dius
What are you saying?
està bé
it's fine
però és que no
but it's just that no
són roïns
they are bad
igual són roïns
they might be bad
però no els pega
but it doesn't hit them
no els pega
it doesn't hit them.
al festival
to the festival
no els pega
it doesn't fit them
no és prou roïn
it's not bad enough
sí
yes
que està molt bé
that is very good
perquè a vegades
because sometimes
arriben coses molt roïns
very bad things are coming
que dius
what do you say
hòstia
hostel
és un tramon
it's a stretch
però
but
perquè està molt mal fet
because it is very poorly done
però hi ha molts
but there are many
que no s'ho vas peden
that you didn't ask for it
i diuen
and they say
hòstia
hostel
per què haureu de participar
why you will have to participate
en aquest festival
in this festival
ah
ah
gran error
big mistake
tan agarrat
so stingy
i hi ha alguns
and there are some
que desapareixen
that disappear
després d'agarrar-li
after grabbing him/her
i li diuen
and they call him/her
eh
hey
t'has seleccionat
you have been selected
i borren el curt
and they delete the short one
hòstia
wow
ja no ho podem
we can no longer do it
ja no està
it's no longer here
ja no sabem per què
we no longer know why
vale
okay
alguna més
any more
pel·lícules
movies
dius
you say
alguna més
anything else
doncs
so
Matt Heide
Matt Heide
està molt guai
it's very cool
que la posàvem l'any passat
that we put last year
és la de Heide
it is Heide's
totes aquestes
all of these
és que l'important
is that the important
d'aquestes pel·lícules
of these movies
ara per exemple
now for example
han tret
they have taken out
Willy the Pooh
Willy the Pooh
se van caducar
they expired
fa dos anys
two years ago
els drets de Willy the Pooh
the rights of Winnie the Pooh
i llavors
and then
ara estan fent
now they are doing
el de Mickey Mouse
the one of Mickey Mouse
també han caducat
they have also expired
i tant
of course
estan fent pel·lícules
they are making movies
de Slashers
of Slashers
que estan pel·lícules
What are these movies?
paròdies
parodies
amb personatges
with characters
antics
ancients
amb personatges
with characters
doncs això
well, that’s it
de Mickey Mouse
of Mickey Mouse
de Peter Pan
of Peter Pan
van fer
they did
van fer un
they made a
un
one
metaverso d'estos
metaverse of these
un univers
a universe
d'assassinos
of murderers
de pel·lícules
of movies
que van perdre
that they lost
entre els drets
among the rights
els personatges originals
the original characters
i
i
i aquestes estan molt bé
and these are very good
la 1 és molt roïna
the 1 is very ugly
però la 2
but the 2
que encara no l'ha vist
that still hasn't seen it
diuen que estan molt bé
they say they are very well
la de Willy the Pooh 2
Winnie the Pooh 2
Blood and Honey
Sang i mel
es diu
it is called
està molt bé
it's very good
perquè ja
because already
el tigre
the tiger
ja ha perdut els drets
has already lost the rights
i el poden gastar
and they can spend it
ja tenen el porquet
they already have the little pig
el tigre
the tiger
a la mula
to the mule
i això en la xista del cul
and that in the ass crack
encara no l'han ficat
they still haven't put it in
però crec que sí
but I think so
i
i
i el Willy the Pooh
and Willy the Pooh
explotació
exploitation
és una
it is a
explotació
exploitation
però que bueno
but how good
que se poden agarrar
that can be grabbed
qualsevol pel·lícula
any movie
si tenen díci
if they have said
el tema és
the theme is
voreu endemics
you will see endemics
vull dir
I mean
jo recomano això
I recommend this.
aquestes pel·lícules
these movies
d'alguna cica
of some girl
a mi m'encanta
I love it.
quan jo era nano
when I was a kid
vaig disfrutar moltíssim
I enjoyed myself a lot.
jo compré
I bought.
una moto vampiro
a vampire motorcycle
això és una pel·lícula
this is a movie
o
or
és la de Jesucristo
it is that of Jesus Christ
Jesucristo mata vampiros
Jesus Christ kills vampires.
també és una
it is also a
la he vist
I have seen her.
totes aquestes pel·lícules
all these movies
jo
I
el diàleg de la dinamita
the dialogue of dynamite
tot això
all this
me'n fico jo a casa
I'll take care of it at home.
a soles
solely
al 10 minuts i tal
in about 10 minutes
i dic
I say.
pues sí
well, yes
està graciós a soles
it's funny on its own
però són pel·lícules molt llargues
but they are very long movies
i tal
and so on
i que tenim moltes escenes
and that we have many scenes
de tirades
of tirades
que no valen a ningú
that are worth nothing to anyone
perquè la trama no té
because the plot does not have
cap triat
any selected
el que mola és l'acció
what's cool is the action
i la cutró
and the cutro
i això
and this
si estàs en amics
if you are in friends
està molt guai
it's very cool
perquè t'hi rius
why are you laughing at it
i mentre t'hi rius
and while you laugh at it
no està passant res
nothing is happening
perquè igual és un 20 minuts
because it might be 20 minutes
de descans
of rest
i eixe rato xarres
and that rat chatters
no sé què
I don't know what.
comentes lo que ha passat
you comment on what happened
no sé quantos
I don't know how many.
i se fa molt més dinàmica
and it becomes much more dynamic
i després
and then
ixes pel·lícules
those movies
tu vas a veure
you are going to see
una de Nolan
a Nolan one
no de Nolan
not from Nolan
encara la comentes
are you still commenting on it?
però vas a veure
but you will see
una pel·lícula random
a random movie
al cine
to the cinema
i acaba la pel·lícula
and the movie ends
i està bé
and it's fine
sí
yes
i ja no parles mai més d'ella
and you never talk about her again
i una pel·lícula d'aquest
and a movie like this
que has vist en 3 o 4 amics
that you have seen in 3 or 4 friends
i l'has comentat
And you have commented on it.
cada volta que quedes
every time you stay
la recordes d'aquella pel·lícula
Do you remember her from that movie?
tornes a veure
you see again
aquella pel·lícula que va morir
that movie that died
tan roent
so scorching
no sé què
I don't know what.
i és molt més recurrent
and it is much more recurrent
i la revius
and you revive it
i la disfrutes molt
and enjoy it a lot
no en el moment
not at the moment
perquè en el moment la pateixes
because at that moment you suffer it
perquè potser és malíssima
because it might be really bad
però després
but then
la tens ahir sempre
you have it always yesterday
és un tipus de cine
it's a type of cinema
que és molt social
that is very social
vull dir
I mean
és com molt
it is very much
aporta molt de feedback
provides a lot of feedback
és com un poc interactiu
it's a bit interactive
és com molt trencar
it's like a lot to break
la quarta paret també
the fourth wall too
és com un event social
it's like a social event
com el teatre
like the theater
en el públic
in the audience
participa també un poquet
participate a little too
i això jo crec
and I believe this
que està guai
that is cool
també
also
per la gent
for the people
que li mola
that he/she loves it
que vegin
let them see
aquesta dimensió del cine
this dimension of cinema
com de participació
as of participation
amb la gent
with the people
i això és un tipus de cine
and this is a type of cinema
que la pel·lícula
that the movie
no és una cosa
it is not a thing
que simplement
that simply
et tiren a la cara
they throw it in your face
i tu has d'aguantar
and you have to endure
sinó que tu també
but you too
pots dir alguna cosa
can you say something
i contestar
and answer
i moltes vegades
and many times
contestar-li
to answer him/her
el mateix que l'ha fet
the same as the one who made it
perquè moltes vegades
because many times
quan veig la gent
when I see people
que ha fet la pel·lícula
what the movie has done
doncs estan allà mateixa
so they are right there
i si et cagues en tot
and if you shit on everything
et pots cagar en ell
you can shit on him
en la seva cara
on his face
literalment
literally
vull dir
I mean
i per mi això és bonic
and for me, this is beautiful
perquè jo crec
because I believe
que per nosaltres
that for us
és bonic això
this is beautiful
ja he trobat
I have already found.
ja he trobat la pel·lícula
I have already found the movie.
que volia dir
what I wanted to say
Tucker and Dale
Tucker and Dale
versus Evil
versus Evil
en anglès és
in English it is
Tucker and Dale
Tucker and Dale
versus Evil
versus Evil
sí
yes
i això està bé
and that is fine
i això està molt divertit
and this is very funny
i després si te pots anar
and then if you can go
als clàssics
to the classics
doncs agarres a Ed Wood
so you get Ed Wood
agarres a Corman
You catch Corman.
agarres a John Waters
you grab John Waters
agarres a este
you grab this
John Waters és dur
John Waters is tough.
John Waters és molt dur
John Waters is very tough.
o als estos
or to these
o al típic este
or the typical one
del material de ball
of the dance material
de les mulletes
of the mules
este també
this too
el Rusmeyer
the Rusmeyer
i te pots veure
and you can see yourself
les pel·liculetes
the little films
d'eixa gent
of those people
que són clàssics
that are classics
una puta merda
a fucking shit
però bueno
but well
doncs bé
well then
t'ho passes bé
you have a good time
i moltes són de ball
and many are for dancing
que estan per allí
that are over there
puchaes online
online puchas
que no sé
that I don't know
no sé què heu fet
I don't know what you have done.
per tal de
in order to
Roger Corman
Roger Corman
no se deu fer
it should not be done
lo de baixar seu
the thing about lowering yours
no se deu fer
it should not be done
no se té que fer
it should not be done
nosaltres no estem fent
we are not doing
apologia de la pirateria
apology of piracy
no
no
dios me guarde
God preserve me.
a veure podeu fer
let's see what you can do
lo que vull
what I want
Pere acaba de reconèixer
Pere has just acknowledged.
antes que li demanava
before I asked him/her
el telèfon
the telephone
a les comidades
to the communities
ah vale
Oh okay.
el
the
a veure
let's see
si està mort
if he is dead
l'autor
the author
no s'ho entera
he doesn't get it
i si està viu
and if he is alive
i és ric
and he is rich
també
also
doncs també
then also
pirateria
piracy
estem així
we are like this
aguantant
holding
i si està viu
and if he is alive
i no el coneixes
and you don't know him
tampoc s'ho entera
neither does he/she understand it
també
also
per la pirateria
for piracy
estem 500 anys
we are 500 years
aguantant
holding
les terràcies
the terraces
dels pirates
of the pirates
de Dragut
of Dragut
i ara
and now
mos venen la pirateria
they sell us piracy
la pirateria
piracy
ixa
firewood
ixa sí que molava
that was really cool
ixa
screw
que venien
that were coming
en les asfanges
in the ashtrays
a calar-nos
to pull us in
no baixar-se pel·lícules
don't download movies
pirata de merdes
piece of shit pirate
això
this
bueno
good
perdoneu que vostè
excuse me that you
és que ja portem
it's just that we've already been carrying
una hora
one hour
Roger Corman
Roger Corman
en un any tenim
in a year we have
un homenatge
a tribute
a Roger Corman
to Roger Corman
perquè es va morir
why did he/she die
el cartell
the poster
és un homenatge
it is a tribute
a una pel·lícula seva
to one of his/her movies
que es diu
what is it called
l'ataque
the attack
de los cangrejos asesinos
of the killer crabs
eh
eh
pel·lículon
amazing movie
malíssim
very bad
és possible que fiquem
it's possible that we put
esta
this
pot ser
maybe
que posem esta
what do we say this
no ho sabem encara
we don't know yet
de fet
in fact
quan acabi l'entrevista
when the interview is over
anem a veure
let's see
2 o 3 de Roger Corman
2 or 3 by Roger Corman
a veure
let's see
quina mos agrada més
which one we like more
i
I
farem un homenatge
we will pay tribute
a Roger Corman
to Roger Corman
en el cim
at the summit
el divendres
on Friday
a les 11 de la nit
at 11 at night
el divendres
on Friday
27
27
o 28
or 28
27
27
molt bé
very good
eh
eh
jo havia preparat
I had prepared
un xicotetes
a little guy
per a veure
to see
li he demanat
I have asked him/her.
a la IA
to the AI
que me faixa pel·lícules
make me movies
de sèrie B
B series
sinopsis
synopsis
tu te'n sents
you feel it
a la pel·lícula
in the movie
ah sinopsis
ah synopsis
no
no
a les pel·lícules
to the movies
bones
good
xarge pete gratis
charge pete free
jo que se
I know.
tampoc crec que doni
I don’t think it will work either.
per tant
therefore
no no
no no
a les hores
at the hours
li diré
I will tell him/her.
una sinopsis vostra
a synopsis of yours
i una feta per la IA
and a fact for the AI
nostre no
our no
de les pel·lícules
of the movies
que posem nosaltres
what do we put
si
yes
bueno
good
sinopsis
synopsis
la penxeu vosaltres
you think it, you all
no
no
sinopsis
synopsis
no ens hem penjat
we haven't hung ourselves
en ningú
in no one
del twitter
from Twitter
ah del twitter
oh from Twitter
Twitter. Hòstia, això s'ho ha inventat
Twitter. Holy shit, this is made up.
la Community Manager.
the Community Manager.
Va, tope, va.
Come on, let's go.
Va, se fica guai.
Come on, get cool.
Va.
Go ahead.
Primera tanda.
First round.
La invasió dels cinturons de seguretat.
The invasion of seat belts.
Els cinturons de seguretat
Seat belts
dels cotxes es tornen vius i comencen a atacar
the cars come to life and start to attack
els conductors. Un jove mecànic
the drivers. A young mechanic
ha de formar un equip amb altres
he has to form a team with others
supervivents per trobar el seu origen
survivors to find their origin
i parar la invasió abans que els cinturons
and stop the invasion before the belts
dominen el món. El dissabte
they dominate the world. On Saturday
28 a les 13 hores
28 at 1 PM
subtitulada en rigorós
subtitled in rigorous
sueca.
Swedish.
L'altra. Ovelo
The other. Ovelo.
e Espada. Això sembla una
and Sword. This seems like a
barreja entre dragones i masmorres.
mix between dragons and dungeons.
Star Wars mal. Los telenecos
Star Wars bad. The telenovelas.
en el muñeca y cine de barrio.
in the doll and neighborhood cinema.
Y es la propuesta de Fabio Powers
And it is Fabio Powers' proposal.
Ovelo e Espada.
Ovel and Sword.
El dissabte 28 a les 13 hores
On Saturday the 28th at 1 PM.
subtitulada en rigorós sueca.
subtitled in strict Swedish.
Jo crec que
I believe that
els cinturons és la falsa.
the belts are the false one.
A veure,
Let's see,
a veure, a veure.
let's see, let's see.
L'Ovelo e Espada la posarem
We will put the Ovelo and Sword.
el dissabte a les 11 de la nit.
Saturday at 11 p.m.
Vindran
They will come.
cinc portuguesos.
five Portuguese.
Ah, vale, 23 hores.
Ah, okay, 23 hours.
Vindran cinc portuguesos
Five Portuguese people will come.
a vore-la, que l'han fet. Vindrà el director
To see her, that they have made her. The director will come.
no sé si són pares allà,
I don't know if they are parents there,
no sé qui. El defecte d'especials.
I don't know who. The defect of specials.
Porten l'Espasa.
They carry the Sword.
L'Ovelo e Espasa és un anime
The Ovelo and Espasa is an anime.
però rodat ahí
but rolled there
en un poble de Portugal.
in a village in Portugal.
No sé quin serà.
I don't know which one it will be.
Estos ahí del duero.
These there of the Duero.
Malíssim.
Terrible.
I serà la primera volta
And it will be the first round.
que tindrem algun
that we will have some
creador
creator
en el cim veient la seva
at the summit seeing her
pel·lícula subtitulada en sueca
subtitled movie in Swedish
i que entendrà que el que està passant d'ahí
and will understand what is happening from there
no és el que ell vol que passi.
it is not what he wants to happen.
Perquè ens ha passat en un coreano, però el coreano
Because it has happened to us in a Korean, but the Korean.
no tenia ni puta idea del que posava en el subtítol.
I had no fucking idea what I was putting in the subtitle.
La gent se ria i li deia
People laughed and told him.
hòstia, que guai, no?
Wow, that's cool, isn't it?
Però clar, este portugués sí que sabrà que
But of course, this Portuguese will know that
si està dient d'ahí alguna cosa i va a dir
if he is saying something from there and is going to say
que eres mal refit de puta
you are a bad remake of a whore
doncs intenta que no estigui dient
so try not to let it be said
«Buenas tardes».
"Good afternoon."
Però bé, estem suant ja.
But well, we are already sweating.
No m'he de pensar que estem suant d'avui
I don't have to think that we're sweating today.
si agarreixen va o mos fa parar la pel·lícula
if they grab us, it makes us stop the movie
que pot ser que sigui el millor que pugui passar en el cim
that may be the best thing that can happen at the summit
i és que diga «Pareu la pel·lícula, que ja no és la meva pel·lícula!»
"And it's like I say, 'Stop the movie, it's no longer my movie!'"
O que aplaudís
Or that I would applaud.
que més que ningú i que xille més que ningú.
that more than anyone and that shouts more than anyone.
Però això del cim també al final.
But this about the summit also in the end.
Evitar el error.
Avoid the mistake.
Estes són les conseqüències
These are the consequences.
que hem elegit
that we have chosen
en la vida del mal.
in the life of evil.
Màxim, segona.
Maximum, second.
Segona, va.
Second, go.
No te vaig a dir el nom de la pel·lícula.
I'm not going to tell you the name of the movie.
Simplement vaig a dir les opcions.
I'm simply going to state the options.
A. Uns borratxos tirats en un descampat.
A. Some drunks lying in a wasteland.
Uns cadàvers arrefillats en un bosc.
Some corpses stuffed in a forest.
Una performance postmoderna del MIM.
A postmodern performance of the MIM.
Si vols saber què hi ha darrere de
If you want to know what is behind
«Hauràs de vindre al cim el divendres 27 a les 18 hores».
"You will have to come to the summit on Friday the 27th at 6 PM."
Un grup de basura espacial
A group of space debris.
es troba atrapat en una estació espacial
he is trapped in a space station
abandonada plena de basura extraterrestre
abandoned full of extraterrestrial garbage
que cobra vida.
that comes to life.
A. Un grup de basura espacial
A group of space debris
han de combatre la basura
they must fight against waste
abans que la seva nau
before their ship
sigui destruïda.
be destroyed.
Vols saber com reciclaran correctament
Do you want to know how to recycle correctly?
els extraterrestres?
the extraterrestrials?
Vine al cim el divendres 27 a les 18 hores.
Come to the top on Friday the 27th at 6 PM.
Jo crec que deia
I think he/she was saying.
la de la basura.
the one from the trash.
Mira, passe.
Look, go ahead.
Ja passe.
I already passed.
Es fica molt fàcil, eh?
It's very easy, huh?
No s'ha agarrat sinopsis, s'han agarrat tweets.
No synopsis has been taken, tweets have been taken.
Llavors, ara hi ha un sinopsis que ja...
So, now there is a synopsis that already...
Vaig a borrar el concurs.
I am going to delete the contest.
Me'n borren.
They delete it from me.
La última.
The last one.
està super...
it's super...
Les de l'AIA són super bones.
The ones from AIA are super good.
No, no, jo no dic que de l'AIA,
No, no, I am not saying from the AIA.
són sinopsis i el nostre...
they are synopses and our...
Vale, últim.
Okay, last one.
Dos opcions.
Two options.
Després de trobar una casa
After finding a house
antiga abandonada, un grup d'amics comença
abandoned old place, a group of friends begins
a experimentar fenòmens paranormals.
to experience paranormal phenomena.
Descobrissen que les rates de la casa
They discover that the rats in the house.
tenen capacitat de reviure
they have the ability to revive
els seus esports més grans i han de descobrir la veritat
their greatest sports and they must uncover the truth
darrere de la casa per escapar en vida.
behind the house to escape alive.
Dissabte 28 a les
Saturday the 28th at the
18 hores.
18 hours.
Bé, un inventor crea un robot
Well, an inventor creates a robot.
cuiner dissenyat per fer pastissos,
cake maker designed for making cakes,
però una errada en el programa fa que el robot
but an error in the program causes the robot
comença a fer pastissos de carn
start making meat pies
amb intenció de conquerir el món.
with the intention of conquering the world.
Un jove forner ha de detenir-lo.
A young baker must stop him.
Dissabte 28 a les 6 hores.
Saturday the 28th at 6 o'clock.
Pues sí, tia,
Well, yes, girl,
esta sí que te hicit bé,
this one you did well.
perquè les dues podrien ser.
because both could be.
Diria que de les rates és l'AIA.
I would say that the AIA is the rats.
Són les dues d'AIA.
It's two o'clock in AIA.
Ah, puta!
Ah, bitch!
Són bones, tio, són bones.
They are good, dude, they are good.
Puta!
Whore!
Molt bones, tio!
Very good, dude!
La AIA ja és més creativa que una persona normal.
AI is already more creative than a normal person.
Però és que les ha de fer, tio.
But he has to do them, man.
La AIA hauria de venir al cim a fer-les.
The AIA should come to the summit to do them.
També he descartat...
I have also ruled out...
O sigui, li vaig dir que me'n farà 20, eh?
So, I told him that he will make me 20, okay?
20.
20.
I he descartat algunes com zombis de la piscina,
I have eliminated some like pool zombies,
uns zombis que viuen en una piscina.
zombies that live in a swimming pool.
Havia de matar-los per agradar-los.
I had to kill them to please them.
Està guai, eh? Està guai.
It's cool, right? It's cool.
Molt bé.
Very good.
Doncs res, això,
Well, nothing, this,
aquest cap de setmana que hi hagi el programa,
this weekend that there is the program,
el que ve, el dimecres,
next Wednesday,
començarà el cim,
the summit will begin,
i que, bueno, tenen el programa en el Twitter, no?
And, well, they have the program on Twitter, right?
Teniu Instagram i tal.
Do you have Instagram and such?
Sí, en la web,
Yes, on the website,
que és cimsueca.com.
what is cimsueca.com.
Tenim ahí tot el programa
We have the entire program there.
a partir del dimecres 25.
starting from Wednesday the 25th.
A partir de les 6 de l'esprat estem fins que
From 6 in the morning we are until
tinguem ganes de tancar i ens pensem de posar
We feel like closing and we think about putting.
pel·lícules males. El cuerpo aguante.
bad movies. The body endures.
Val, i també
Okay, and also
en guany teniu la novetat que van a gravar
This year you have the novelty that they are going to record.
un podcast que no som nosaltres.
a podcast that is not us.
Sí!
Yes!
No us heu adelantat que estem fent un podcast amb vosaltres primer.
You haven't rushed ahead that we are doing a podcast with you first.
Però venen a gravar
But they come to record.
un podcast, però no amb nosaltres.
a podcast, but not with us.
Saps? Que és com el colmo del recochineu,
You know? It's like the height of mocking.
és cabró.
he's a bastard.
Venen, però
They come, but
el José Morís ens diu
José Morís tells us
anirem a fer un podcast
we will go to make a podcast
al cim, però
at the top, however
vosaltres no hi sereu. I si hi ha tothom
you will not be there. And if everyone is there
i l'Evaldo dius que
and Evaldo you say that
són els famosos, vosaltres som
they are the famous ones, you are us
la comparsa.
the group.
Sí, que som els famosos, és veritat.
Yes, we are the famous ones, it's true.
Però, bueno, sí, venen ahí
But, well, yes, they come there.
els de Xusma Deluxe,
the Xusma Deluxe ones,
que són molt guais, molt professionals.
they are very cool, very professional.
Xusma Deluxe!
Deluxe Trash!
I molt guai.
It's very cool.
I he trencat una llança, no molt gorda,
I have broken a lance, not very thick,
perquè jo crec que no podia trencar una llança,
because I believe that I could not break a lance,
de José Molins,
by José Molins,
que jo el vaig conèixer
that I met him
quan feia Maemewa el 2005,
when was Maemewa in 2005,
2005, 2005,
2005, 2005,
quan feia jo Maemewa,
when I was Maemewa,
i ell m'ho va descobrir per Maemewa
And he found it out for me through Maemewa.
i ell estava treballant per productores.
And he was working for production companies.
A Madrid.
To Madrid.
A Madrid. I volia exportar
To Madrid. I wanted to export.
el format de Maemewa
the format of Maemewa
a Madrid.
to Madrid.
I era ja pre...
And it was already pre...
Xanante.
Xanante.
Això no existia, vull dir, era
This did not exist, I mean, it was.
el que feien aquells ja, però
what they were already doing, though
era molt ahí per amb un còmedi, no sé què.
It was very there with a comedy, I don't know what.
José Mota encara no havia fet lo de l'humor rural,
José Mota had not yet done the rural humor thing.
la de Vallès-Simanita encara com molt marginal,
the Vallès-Simanita one still seems very marginal,
no era l'humor perifèdic i sé que va
it wasn't peripheral humor and I know it goes
tindre un boom i després se'n va anar a la merda.
to have a boom and then it went to hell.
Se va perdre l'humor valencià
The Valencian humor has been lost.
de Maemewa en Madrid,
of Maemewa in Madrid,
però... I li costava el lloc de feina a ell.
but... it cost him the job.
Perquè jo li dic, mira que està...
Because I tell him, look at this...
Que això no va a ningú...
That this doesn't go for anyone...
Que això no va a anar a voler, no sé què.
That this is not going to want, I don't know what.
Aunque me quede en el carrero,
Even if I stay in the cart.
tinc que luchar para que Maemewa...
I have to fight so that Maemewa...
No sé què, no sé quantos...
I don't know what, I don't know how much...
I vaig a ensenyar-lo a tots. I clar, evidentment va a
I'm going to show it to everyone. And of course, obviously it's going to
perdre la feina, perquè
lose the job, because
evidentment és José Molín, i està
it's obviously José Molín, and he is
fet per a tres milers.
made for three thousand.
Per a tres milers molt més altes.
For three thousand much higher.
Xusma. Xusma de luxe.
Trash. Luxury trash.
Vindran el
They will come the
divendres.
Friday.
A Sueca el divendres
In Sueca on Friday.
26.
26.
A les set i mitja.
At seven thirty.
Està mirant a veure si jo podré
He is looking to see if I will be able to.
anar o no. Depèn de... Bueno,
to go or not to go. It depends on... Well,
de tota manera,
anyway,
sols dir-los que els dos
just tell them that both
convidats que van aportar
guests who contributed
ja han vingut a la comoditat.
They have already come to comfort.
En la primera temporada.
In the first season.
De fet, Toni sigue el segon convidat
In fact, Toni is the second guest.
i Valdovi vingué
and Valdovi came
perquè Cabra Fotuda no va voler vindre
because Cabra Fotuda didn't want to come
a tancar la primera temporada.
to close the first season.
Era el segon plat de Cabra Fotuda.
It was the second dish of Fucked Goat.
El segon plat, eh?
The main course, right?
No pot sobrar.
It cannot be excessive.
Tenim molt que millorar, eh?
We have a lot to improve, right?
I ho vaig comentar...
I mentioned it...
És de Xusma de luxe.
It's luxury trash.
Volem un germà alemany.
We want a German brother.
Que també és de Xusma de luxe.
That is also from luxurious Xusma.
I queda a Valdovi.
It stays in Valdovi.
A Valdovi.
To Valdovi.
I vaig comentar aquesta anècdota a la dona de Valdovi
I mentioned this anecdote to Valdovi's wife.
i em va dir que ell estava acostumat a ser
And he told me that he was used to being
segon plat.
main course.
Xaudiu va dir la bona imatge.
Xaudiu said the good image.
No, mi amor, hem anat a un petar.
No, my love, we went to have a blast.
Perquè hem anat a un petar i van dir
Because we went to a party and they said.
que l'Eutzeni alemany va vindre
that the German Eutzeni came
i l'Eutzeni va dir no.
And Eutzeni said no.
I si va, jo no he entès.
And if he goes, I don't understand.
Que no.
No.
M'agradaria pensar, més o menys per Toni,
I would like to think, more or less for Toni,
però que ell siga l'Eutzeni 2.
but let him be Eutzeni 2.
Bé, Toni de l'Hostal, teòricament,
Well, Toni from the Hostal, theoretically,
ve de tant en tant allà
comes by from time to time there
a comentar pel·lícules.
to comment on movies.
Perquè teníem com una espècie de grupet
Because we had a kind of little group.
que comentaven pel·lícules i tal
they were commenting on movies and stuff
i ens posarem a comentar-les allà en directe.
And we will start commenting on them live there.
Tant és un dia i a la mitja pel·lícula
It doesn't matter if it's a day or halfway through the movie.
setmana.
week.
El primer dia ens la preparàvem
On the first day, we prepared ourselves for it.
jo, ell i jo, un altre col·lega
me, him and me, another colleague
que es diu Pau Ovidi i Toni de l'Hostal
his name is Pau Ovidi and Toni from the Hostal
i ens preparàvem una pel·lícula
and we were preparing a movie
i tot ens la preparàvem abans
And we prepared everything beforehand.
per fer allà el comentari en directe.
to make the comment live there.
I Toni de l'Hostal també se l'ha preparat
I Toni from the Inn has also been prepared.
però durant...
but during...
A mi m'ha dit, li vaig dir
He told me, I told him.
hòstia, a veure si puc anar a vorets
Damn, let's see if I can go to see you.
i m'hi dic allà, veus tu, un any que pensava
I tell myself there, you see, a year that I was thinking.
que no aniria al cim, me toca anar.
that I wouldn't go to the summit, I have to go.
És molt cabró, però bueno.
He's very much a jerk, but oh well.
Toni...
Toni...
El volem igual, eh, el volem igual.
We want him the same, right, we want him the same.
No vos teniu que escoltar, vull dir, podeu dir
You don’t have to listen to us, I mean, you can say.
el que vulgueu.
Whatever you want.
Val, Pere,
Okay, Peter,
una hora i set minuts.
one hour and seven minutes.
T'has preparat un mix d'una cosa
You've prepared a mix of something.
i la fiques.
and you put it in.
I l'any
And the year
que no s'ha celebrat ja ho parlarem més abans.
that has not been celebrated we will talk about it more later.
No, per l'estrelles està mort, jo què sé,
No, for the stars he's dead, I don't know.
i és igual, de res.
And it doesn't matter, you're welcome.
Bueno, pues fiquem un àudio
Well, let's put in an audio.
que he fet, no sé si és
What I've done, I don't know if it is.
alguna cosa que ha passat, que el tio Albice,
something that has happened, that Uncle Albice,
el Follardillas, que bueno, té un partit
the Follardillas, how nice, has a match
polític, té una horda
politician, he has a horde
de mermados en Telegram,
of diminished on Telegram,
està fent una tasca molt forta
is doing a very strong task
per reinsertar la gent que va patir
to reintegrate the people who suffered
meningitis vírica i...
viral meningitis and...
Igual que sí.
Just like yes.
Igual que sí, més a la política
Just like yes, more in politics.
que al cim al cinema.
at the peak in the cinema.
Bàsicament. I resulta
Basically. And it turns out
que, bueno, molt de la pasta que li pagava
that, well, a lot of the money that I paid him
la penya i tal, o estava desviant
the gang and such, or was it deviating
a un tremendo xiringuito.
to a tremendous beach bar.
Vaig a ficar l'àudio
I'm going to play the audio.
i el comentari.
and the comment.
Estamos en el tercer evento de CryptoSpain, que se llama
We are at the third CryptoSpain event, which is called
Madrilems Club, y antes de entrar
Madrilems Club, and before entering
voy a explicar un poco qué es CryptoSpain.
I am going to explain a little what CryptoSpain is.
CryptoSpain es una alternativa legal
CryptoSpain is a legal alternative.
a los impuestos injustos que nos impone
to the unfair taxes that are imposed on us
el Estado, ¿vale? Son profesionales
The state, okay? They are professionals.
expertos que se dedican a eludir fiscalmente
experts who specialize in tax evasion
miles de euros para nuestra empresa.
thousands of euros for our company.
¿Ok? Entonces, eso es lo que
Okay? So, that is what
hace CryptoSpain, y además tienen un canal de YouTube
It's called CryptoSpain, and they also have a YouTube channel.
y TikTok, y
and TikTok, and
lo enseñé en el último vídeo, no lo expliqué mucho,
I showed it in the last video, I didn't explain it much.
pero, bueno, el fundador o el, digamos que
but, well, the founder or, let's say that
el máximo exponente es
the maximum exponent is
Luis, ¿vale? Que es el hombre que va con la mascarilla
Luis, okay? He is the man with the mask.
y es el que habla en los vídeos. Entonces, nada.
And he is the one who speaks in the videos. So, nothing.
Vamos a entrar ahora al evento,
We are going to enter the event now.
¿vale? Voy a grabar lo que esté pasando,
Okay? I'm going to record what is happening.
la charla y tal.
the talk and so on.
Cualquier tipo de forma que se pueda.
Any kind of shape that can be.
Por eso, el hecho de que
Therefore, the fact that
exista esta comunidad, que
this community exists, which
Luis ha conseguido hacer tan
Luis has managed to do so.
grande, etcétera, es un gran
big, etcetera, is a great
éxito, y un gran éxito, sobre todo legal
success, and great success, especially legal
contra este Estado criminal. Así que,
against this criminal state. So,
un aplauso para todos vosotros, y para
a round of applause for all of you, and for
todos vosotros.
all of you.
Entiendo a cualquier persona que intente
I understand anyone who tries.
eludir impuestos de la forma que sea,
to evade taxes in any way,
porque este país es criminal.
because this country is criminal.
Ole los cojones de todos aquellos que conseguís
Hooray for the balls of all those who succeed.
no pagarle hacienda y ahorraros
not paying the tax office and saving yourselves
el dinero que podáis. Por eso se llaman impuestos,
the money you can. That's why they're called taxes,
porque no son voluntarios, te lo imponen.
because they are not volunteers, it is imposed on you.
Ese es el tema, tío. Nos han impuesto
That's the issue, dude. They have imposed on us.
saquearnos más del 70% o 75% de lo que
loot us more than 70% or 75% of what
ganamos. Si de cada 100 pavos que tú facturas,
we win. If out of every 100 bucks that you bill,
colega, que estás todo el puto día trabajando,
dude, you’ve been working all fucking day,
te quitan 75, te dan ganas de trabajar
They take away 75, and it makes you want to work.
y te vas a la rueda y el país no paga.
And you go to the wheel and the country doesn't pay.
Esto va a la moncla que está sin que la Policía Nacional
This goes to the moncla that is without the National Police.
me persiga. Han dicho lo cual. Estoy muy feliz
they chase me. They have said that. I am very happy.
de estar aquí. Pero en realidad,
of being here. But actually,
vosotros, todos vosotros, aquí,
you all, all of you, here,
tenéis el mismo tipo de política, que es la contrapolítica
you have the same type of politics, which is counter-politics
a un Estado mafioso, perdóname
to a mafia state, forgive me
que lo diga, criminal, que roba más del 70-75%
let him say it, criminal, who steals more than 70-75%
de todo lo que producís
of everything you produce
todos vosotros, cada año.
all of you, every year.
Y eso, amigos míos,
And that, my friends,
no sé cómo lo llamaréis vosotros,
I don't know how you will call it.
pero yo lo llamo
but I call him
esclavismo moderno.
modern slavery.
Una mujer anciana que me dijo el otro día,
An old woman who told me the other day,
Luisa, yo te leo siempre, pero no sé si seguirte
Luisa, I always read you, but I don't know if I should follow you.
porque no sé si es legal o no.
because I don't know if it's legal or not.
El 9 de junio nos presentamos a las elecciones
On June 9 we will present ourselves for the elections.
europeas por primera vez
Europeans for the first time
de forma independiente,
independently,
que una parte capital...
that a capital part...
¡Gracias!
Thank you!
...de la libertad financiera de la que tanto temen
...of the financial freedom they fear so much.
esos corruptos. Muchísimas gracias a todos.
those corrupt ones. Thank you very much to everyone.
¡Gracias!
Thank you!
¡Gracias a todos!
Thank you all!
¡Gracias!
Thank you!
Bueno, pues era...
Well, then it was...
he barretxat diversos audios
he has merged several audios
que he trobat. El que pasa es que el tío
that I have found. What happens is that the guy
ficaba pasta, una cosa que se
I put in dough, something that is
teía Madeira Investment,
I had Madeira Investment,
que era una cosa controlada, pero un tal
that it was a controlled thing, but a certain
Luis, que tenía un canal de
Luis, who had a channel of
vídeo de YouTube y de TikTok
YouTube and TikTok video
que hacía siempre en cara a Z,
what he always did to Z,
pero no se identificaba
but it did not identify itself
y ninguno sabía quién era.
and none knew who he was.
Pere, perdona que te... perdona,
Pere, sorry that I... sorry,
pero es que me has recordado. ¿Tú te acuerdas del rechidor
But you reminded me. Do you remember the speaker?
y ese de compromís que
and that of commitment that
aprofitar la mascarilla que hacía cuando parlaba inglés,
take advantage of the mask I wore when I spoke English,
pero no parlaba inglés, que era una
but he didn't speak English, which was a
treperraere?
treperraere?
Pues igual, una cosa pareguda.
Well, similarly, a similar thing.
Eso es. Es el rollo,
That's it. It's the thing.
es lo que yo pulque en un
It's what I pulque in a
bank. O sea, no saber quién es el tío,
bank. That is to say, not knowing who the guy is,
no estar identificado de cap forma
not being identified in any way
y yo donarle el mes d'inés.
and I will give her the month of Inés.
Y él promete que a
And he promises that to
mí esos diners, él infringirá
Give me that money, he will infringe.
la ley. ¡Maldita!
the law. Damn it!
O sea, es realmente... Si no le hago la volta,
I mean, it's really... If I don't turn it around,
es que la batalla cultural la tenim molt perduda,
the cultural battle is very lost for us,
porque esta gente ha conseguido
because these people have managed
darle la volta y hacer que el mal
turn it around and make it bad
siga el ver, ¿sabes?
Be the green, you know?
Y que furtar es tira de puta madre,
And stealing is fucking great,
¿sabes? Y eso es porque los de Esquerra
Do you know? And that's because of those in Esquerra.
no lo han hecho. Cuando han manado, no lo han
they haven't done it. When they have commanded, they haven't
hecho. Mira, pues ya que vosotros lo que
Done. Look, since you all...
voleu es furtar a l'Estat, que tan vos furta
you want to steal from the State, which steals so much from you
que diguen vosotros, pues mira, a rics
let them say what they want, well look, to the rich
a vosotros vos aneu a donar paper. O sea,
you are going to be given paper. That is,
totes que sou uns figures que
all of you are some characters that
aneu per ahí de gualletge en això,
go around diagonally in this
ahí sí, ahí això es pacaplà
there yes, there that is pacaplà
i a repartir. Ja veurem ahí si
and to distribute. We'll see there if
la cosa canvia o no canvia. Però claro, com
the thing changes or does not change. But of course, how
estos no ho fan, els altres diuen
they don't do it, others say
vosotros sí que ho aneu a fer-ho i canvien el discurs.
you are indeed going to do it and they change the discourse.
És superfascinant. A mi me tenen fascinat completament.
It's super fascinating. I am completely fascinated by it.
El cas és que el tal Luis,
The fact is that the so-called Luis,
misterioso Luis, senyor calvo
mysterious Luis, Mr. Bald
en cara a seta, que no se sabia qui era,
facing the mushroom, who no one knew who it was,
però que estava rebent diners
but was receiving money
de muntó de penya, com
of a lot of people, like
el vice ha dit públicament
the vice has said publicly
que la seva pasta la fica ahí
that his/her dough goes in there
i se n'ha dit, espera't un momento,
and it has been said, wait a moment,
i aquest tio d'aquí ha
and this guy here has
hagut un paro, un paro de mil parell
there was a strike, a strike of a thousand pairs
de collons, en principi
for fuck's sake, in principle
i les dades són dades
and the data is data
ocultes, tot el tema, és molt difícil
you hide, the whole subject, it's very difficult.
vore aquí a invertir pasta,
look here to invest money,
però ella ha dit que si algú envia
but she said that if anyone sends
un correu dient, cabrón calvo
an email saying, bald bastard
quiero mi dinero,
I want my money.
i ses dades ja seran públiques
and the data will already be public
i ja les farà servir i senda.
And she will use them both.
O sigui que ningú li envia res.
So no one sends him anything.
Ningú calvo,
No one bald,
cabrón calvo. Que em sembla
bald bastard. What do you think of me?
meravellós. Està dient, no reclameu
Wonderful. He is saying, do not claim.
els vostres diners, o sigui, jo no vos
your money, that is, I don't you
a donar els diners. Però si els reclameu
to give the money. But if you claim it
no sigues vosaltres. Però si els reclameu, si els reclameu,
don't be you. But if you claim them, if you claim them,
i senda anirà per vosaltres.
And the path will go for you.
O sigui que no sigueu tontos
So don't be stupid.
i deixeu-me a mi els vostres diners.
And leave your money to me.
I em sembla, doncs, una
It seems to me, then, a
autèntica meravella i
authentic wonder and
que el vice estigui ahí clavat amb pasta
that the vice is stuck there with cash
d'altra penya i tal, em sembla
from another crew and such, it seems to me
doncs, bé, una cosa,
well, one thing,
però bé, un monument a la intel·ligència
but well, a monument to intelligence
política d'avantguarda,
avant-garde politics,
però superguapo.
but super handsome.
Són trileros, són trileros d'aquestes dades.
They are con artists, they are con artists with this data.
La història és que jo els dono a vosaltres
The story is that I give them to you.
després.
after.
Jo els publico per a ells.
I publish them for them.
És que n'hi ha una penya que ha perdut un munt de pasta
There is a bunch of people who have lost a lot of money.
en la meravella aquesta que recomendava el vice
in this wonder that the vice recommended
i el tio, és que li seguiran
And the guy, they will follow him.
votant. És que és increïble.
voting. It's just incredible.
Bueno, bé, veieu que amb vosaltres el vice
Well, you see that with you the vice
la dreta se fracciona un poquet,
the right is fracturing a little bit,
ja ho té bé.
It's already good enough.
Ja era hora de que...
It was about time that...
Bueno, però
Well, but
també és de veres que esta gent està
it is also true that these people are
atraent gent a la política que antes no
attracting people to politics who weren't before
estava. Sí, sí.
I was. Yes, yes.
És perillós, però bé, la qüestió és...
It's dangerous, but well, the thing is...
Això és el principi, quan Compromís
This is the beginning, when Compromís.
tenia un
I had a
projecte, doncs la gent s'ho creia i deia
project, so people believed it and said.
ah, que guai, i llavors votava gent que no votava mai.
Ah, how cool, and then I was voting for people who never voted.
I podem, com que
And we can, as that
saben que era contra l'esquerra o alguna cosa d'això.
They know it was against the left or something like that.
I això al principi, doncs
And this at the beginning, then.
mira que guai i tal, no sé què.
Look how cool and stuff, I don't know what.
Comencen molt fort,
They start very strong,
després se desomfla, i això passa
then it deflates, and that happens
en tots els partits que comencen i tal.
in all the matches that start and such.
Després fan
After they do
balleros i allà i tot.
dancers and there and everything.
Segurament hi haurà molts neoliberals
There will surely be many neoliberals.
que no votarien mai i diran ah, no votaran
that they would never vote and will say, ah, they will not vote
i ara no votaran ningú, però bé.
And now nobody will vote, but well.
Bé, n'hi ha que passar
Well, some must pass.
la pallola, al final. Sí, sí, sí,
the knuckle, in the end. Yes, yes, yes,
la passera, s'ha de passar la passera.
the walkway, you have to walk across the walkway.
Bé, a més és com han absorbit
Well, besides, it's how they have absorbed.
aquest discurs neoliberal
this neoliberal speech
americà de que l'estat
American of the state
et roba perquè t'està imposant
It steals from you because it is imposing on you.
uns impostos i quant menys estat
some taxes and how less state
i quant menys impostos perquè és millor.
and how much less taxes because it is better.
Vull dir, és una
I mean, it's a
cosa... És mila i dos, realment.
thing... It's a thousand and two, really.
Sí, i de totes maneres
Yes, and in any case.
jo dono gràcies a que no cal encara més,
I give thanks that there is no need for more.
saps? Perquè ho tenen tot a favor, saps?
You know? Because they have everything going for them, you know?
Perquè tot el sistema mundial
Because the entire global system
està fet per això, saps? I tots els
it's made for that, you know? And all the
corres de pensament són com superindividualistes
thought currents are like superindividualists
de rotllo... No, no, doncs
That's just how it is... No, no, then.
tu has de ser tu, has de notar-se
You have to be yourself, you have to stand out.
com un mogolló que eres el millor, has de
As a mess that you are the best, you have to
fer ostentació del que
to show off what
te va i tot és una
It suits you and it's all one.
aparència i tu has de voler més i més
appearance and you must want more and more
i més, saps? I és que passar per damunt
And more, you know? It’s just that going over it
d'altres, doncs bé, no n'hi ha més que
others, well, there is nothing more than
passar per damunt d'altres. I qualsevol cosa que
to pass over others. And anything that
et toquin, encara que sigui un pobre desgraciat,
they touch you, even if it's a poor unfortunate,
és un roba i és inadmissible i no l'hi pots consentir.
It is a disgrace and it is unacceptable, and you cannot allow it.
I és, doncs, la pèrdua de l'empatia,
And it is, therefore, the loss of empathy,
de la solidaritat i de tot això, i de qualsevol
of solidarity and all of that, and of anything
valor, però que jo crec que això
value, but I believe that this
és normal en el tarlocapitalisme
it is normal in tarlo-capitalism
i encara m'estranya que no estigui
And it still surprises me that it is not.
més desbocat encara, saps? Que hi ha gent
even more unbridled, you know? That there are people
que digui, no, no, vaig a pagar impostos i no sé què,
that says, no, no, I'm going to pay taxes and I don't know what,
vull dir, perquè al final, que ho veus
I mean, because in the end, you see it.
en tots els llocs, està en qualsevol telediari
In all places, it is on any news broadcast.
o te'l veus ahí que donen pàvula
or you see it there that they are giving a speech
a esta gent, a tots costats,
to these people, on all sides,
i ho veuen com a algo admirable
and they see it as something admirable
i bo i desitjable, saps?
It's good and desirable, you know?
Quan és el contrari, vull dir,
When is the opposite, I mean,
l'egoisme és el mal i l'altruisme és el bé,
selfishness is evil and altruism is good,
vull dir, l'imperi
I mean, the empire.
és el mal
it is the evil
i la república és el bé, no?
And the republic is the good, right?
En Star Wars, els rebeldes
In Star Wars, the rebels
són els bons
they are the good ones
perquè volen, com
because they want, how
pluralisme, no?, com entre tots
pluralism, right?, like among all of us
i l'imperi és el mal perquè volen
And the empire is evil because they want.
topar a ells, no? Perquè volen...
bump into them, right? Because they want...
Tens els àngels d'Estars Raiders.
You have the angels of Estars Raiders.
No sabem el que és un héroe.
We do not know what a hero is.
Un héroe és, no?, l'héroe és
A hero is, right?, the hero is
el que, el que, vaja,
what, what, well,
encara que no,
even though no,
que la seva vida patisca
that their life suffers
o se sacrifica per ajudar
or one sacrifices oneself to help
els altres, això és l'héroe, no?
the others, this is the hero, right?
Això ho sabem tots, no?
We all know this, right?
No, l'héroe és...
No, the hero is...
Jo, jo...
Me, me...
I tots que em follen, no?
And everyone who fucks me, right?
O sigui, ha canviat el discurs completament.
In other words, the discourse has completely changed.
Però, bueno, no ho sé,
But, well, I don't know,
jo crec que al final...
I believe that in the end...
Jo tinc confiança en la bondat humana
I have faith in human kindness.
al final, i per això faig el Sim,
In the end, and that's why I do the Sim.
també, saps?
also, you know?
Has de fer la volta a este discurs,
You have to turn this speech around,
a veure...
let's see...
No, jo crec que el Sim està molt guai
No, I think Sim is really cool.
perquè som bones persones.
because we are good people.
Per no flipar-se, no?
To not freak out, right?
O sigui, per no flipar-se tant, que avui en dia la societat
I mean, not to get too carried away, that nowadays society
et diu que tot el que fas ha de estar molt bé, no?
It tells you that everything you do has to be very good, right?
Has de ser molt productiu, has de ser molt bo
You have to be very productive, you have to be very good.
i has de ser el millor.
You have to be the best.
Has de ser el millor i has de tenir talent.
You have to be the best and you have to have talent.
Doncs no passa res.
Well, nothing happens.
Si fas les coses mal, si no produïs,
If you do things badly, if you don't produce,
si no tens massa talent, tampoc.
if you don't have much talent, neither do you.
No passa res. Pots ser una persona vàlida.
It's okay. You can be a worthy person.
Jo no tinc massa talent.
I don't have much talent.
No passa res. Sóc feliç
Nothing is wrong. I am happy.
i puc ser una persona útil i bona
I can be a useful and good person.
per les meves amistats i per la gent
for my friends and for the people
que està amb mi i me coneix
who is with me and knows me
i a mi em satisfà això i em pareix correcte
And this satisfies me and seems correct to me.
i tinc bastant en això.
I have quite a lot in this.
I jo què sé, en el Sim és un poc
And what do I know, in the Sim it's a little.
riures d'això, d'on vas flipat, on vas.
laughing about this, where are you going crazy, where are you going.
Alerta, missatge.
Alert, message.
Que t'has flipat tant.
You've gotten so carried away.
Si voleu, ho deixem així una hora de set.
If you want, we can leave it like that at one o'clock.
Se mos han quedat moltes coses per parlar.
There are many things we haven't talked about yet.
Quines coses?
What things?
Per exemple, el canal de YouTube del Xungarro,
For example, the YouTube channel of the Xungarro,
els llibres que has cridit...
the books that you have called...
Com es diu? Més bé que cagar a la ponat.
What is it called? Better than shitting on the beach.
Fiqueu-s'ho, que està el Xungarro dient d'animalais.
Get it in, because the Xungarro is talking nonsense.
Parla de música...
Talk about music...
De on? De quan? De música antiga.
Where from? From when? From ancient music.
De música antiga. Ja ficarem un enllaç al Twitter.
Of old music. We'll put a link on Twitter.
Són xorrals que me se passen a mi pel cap
They are silly thoughts that cross my mind.
quan estic avorrit i entre paja i paja
when I'm bored and between straw and straw
dic, hòstia, què faig ara?
I say, damn, what do I do now?
No te saluda.
He/She does not greet you.
Dius, hòstia, me'n faria una però no puc encara.
You say, damn, I would love to do one but I can't yet.
I dic, va, vaig a fer-me un vídeo.
I said, come on, I'm going to make myself a video.
I això és...
And this is...
Això és perquè no tens família.
This is because you don't have family.
Perquè jo avui estava fent una reflexió.
Because I was reflecting today.
M'he quedat...
I've been left...
Tenia una hora a soles,
I had an hour alone,
tota la casa,
the whole house,
tota la casa per mi, una hora.
the whole house for me, one hour.
Abans de gravar el programa.
Before recording the program.
I en comptes d'entregar-me l'onanisme
"And instead of handing me the masturbation"
dic, ara passa l'aspiradora
I say, now the vacuum cleaner is passing.
i després el motxo.
and then the mop.
Ara, ara que ningú m'ho xafa.
Now, now that no one is stepping on it.
I he acabat i dic, però en què m'he convertit?
I have finished and I say, but what have I become?
Però això és bonic. És solidaritat
But this is beautiful. It is solidarity.
inversa a la teva família.
inverse to your family.
I és un acte de reciprocitat.
And it is an act of reciprocity.
Ara ningú m'ho xafa. I se va quedar
Now no one ruins it for me. And he/she stayed.
perfecte el pis.
perfect the apartment.
No m'ha donat des d'acabar el programa.
He hasn't given me anything since finishing the program.
Xico, però no tens rumba d'esta
Dude, but you don't have this rumba.
que passa automàticament?
What happens automatically?
El capitalisme també ho fa molt bé.
Capitalism does it very well too.
Perquè els homes no tinguem que fer algo,
So that men don’t have to do anything,
que no tinguem que fregar,
that we don't have to scrub,
han inventat la rumba, saps?
They have invented rumba, you know?
Ara, en la igualtat, dius, ara,
Now, in equality, you say, now,
els homes també teniu que fregar i agranar.
Men should also clean and sweep.
No, no, no, això no pot ser.
No, no, no, this cannot be.
Inventem una rumba, inventem algo.
Let's invent a rumba, let's invent something.
En sèrie B segur que vos he entrat
In Series B, I'm sure I have entered you.
en una pel·lícula d'estes rois
in a movie like this
d'una rumba que se torna loca, no?
of a rumba that goes crazy, right?
I mos ja hem fet
We have already done it.
la rumba fight.
the rumba fight.
No hem fet mai una rumba fight.
We have never done a rumba fight.
Agarrar una rumba, plenar-la de gabinets
Grab a rumba, fill it with cabinets.
i de... com es diu això?
And... what is this called?
De guillotines i tal, i posar globus.
Of guillotines and such, and putting up balloons.
I va rebentant globus, i cada globo té un nom
I am bursting balloons, and each balloon has a name.
i el que queda s'endú els 50 euros o el que sigui.
And the rest takes the 50 euros or whatever it is.
Això a sèrie B ho heu copiat.
You copied this in Serie B.
Això ho heu copiat.
You have copied this.
Ho farem allà, a les bacalletes de la mar,
We'll do it there, at the little pools of the sea,
que això és quan fem estarats mentals.
that this is when we make mental states.
Hòstia puta!
Holy shit!
Vos reunirem, ficarem allà una verja,
We will gather you, we will put a fence there,
tirarem la rumba allà,
we will throw the party there,
tirarem de globus,
we will pull balloons,
i la rumba anava en guillotines allà,
and the rumba was going on guillotines there,
letals, allà, que l'havien preparat.
lethal, there, that they had prepared.
L'aguai seria dos rumbes, perquè si no
The water would be two rumbles, because if not
l'hi ferien entre ells.
they would hit him/her among themselves.
Estaven tots com a...
They were all like...
Estos de México, no vull ser
I don't want to be one of these from Mexico.
racista, pero sí...
racist, but yes...
Estos de mexicanos que fan peleas de gallos
These Mexicans who hold cockfights.
o de monos en funals, y no sé qué.
or monkeys in funals, and I don't know what.
En la botella, en les botelles de whisky...
In the bottle, in the bottles of whisky...
Diga, venga la rumba,
Say, come the rumba,
yo apaste fer la rumba, no sé qué.
I went to make the rumba, I don't know what.
Con el molar, no sé qué.
With the molar, I don't know what.
En fin, genial.
In short, great.
El convidarem una cançó i se n'anem.
We'll invite him a song and we're leaving.
Una cançó i ja està.
A song and that's it.
Què? La cantem?
What? Shall we sing it?
No, no, no, la digueu
No, no, no, you say it.
i el tio Màxim
and the uncle Màxim
la piratejarà d'internet.
She will pirate it from the internet.
Digueu la cançó, no digues això...
Say the song, don’t say that...
Xanclo Van Dam de J.C.
Flip-Flop Van Dam of J.C.
de Buclesno.
of Buclesno.
Vale, pues...
Okay, then...
Están en Spotify.
They are on Spotify.
El gran col·laborador del cine.
The great collaborator of cinema.
Es que repleguem a tots.
We are gathering everyone.
Busquem la cançó
We are looking for the song.
i se vegem la setmana que ve.
See you next week.
Si no passa res,
If nothing happens,
celebrarem nosaltres el programa Ascent.
We will celebrate the Ascent program.
Sí.
Yes.
I l'altre cap de setmana,
And the other weekend,
la mateixa setmana, celebrem el programa Ascent
the same week, we celebrate the Ascent program
i Xuxma de Lux va a gravar
and Xuxma de Lux is going to record
allà al cine.
over there at the cinema.
Aquí tindreu la setmana que ve.
Here you will have next week.
Ningú.
Nobody.
Estel López.
Estel López.
No, no, l'altre no ho sé.
No, no, I don't know the other one.
No, no, tenim allà un impàs, Pere.
No, no, we have a gap there, Pere.
Tenim que parlar en algun...
We need to talk about some...
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Estic a l'espera d'una confirmació
I am waiting for a confirmation.
i si no és esa persona,
and if it's not that person,
serà un altre que també parlaré.
It will be another one that I will also talk about.
O si no serà Toni de los Tala, una mala.
Or it will be Toni from Los Tala, a bad one.
Una mala és Toni de los Tala.
One bad thing is Toni from los Tala.
Bueno, vinga, pues...
Okay, then...
Fins la setmana que ve.
Until next week.
Adéu.
Goodbye.
Fiquem per aquí a l'alçada
Let's put it here at the height.
Quan les coses eixen mal
When things go wrong
aprenem el doble
we learn double
30 monedes de plata
30 silver coins
ja ha eixit la rata
the rat has already come out
Ni Jesús, ni Brian, ni Willem Dafoe
Neither Jesus, nor Brian, nor Willem Dafoe.
van salvar el poble
they saved the village
Pots canviar eixes sandàlies
Can you change those sandals?
per la força del vinagre
by the power of vinegar
Si ho tinguérem clar
If we had it clear.
Aquí hi ha un pebre sard
Here is a Sardinian pepper.
Si ho tinguérem
If we had it
Si ho tinguérem clar
If we had it clear
Aquí hi ha un pebre sard
Here is a sardine pepper.
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Nostre Senyor
Our Lord
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Nostre Senyor
Our Lord
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Salvamos a hosties
We save hosts.
Jean-Claude
Jean-Claude
Van Damme
Van Damme
Nostre Senyor
Our Lord
Salvamos a hosties
We save on hostels.
Salvamos
We save
Jean-Claude
Jean-Claude
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